Ask Squall How I Drove Him Crazy
by Sk8ter Gurl1
Summary: I, Kaitou, a master thief, have kidnapped Squall and is forcing him to answer questions that you might have. I thought it was all under control. That was where it all went wrong. (Last chapter up, but there will be a sequel.)
1. Little Date

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Title: Ask Squall  
  
Author: KawaiiDreamer / Kaitou Rikku (ME!!)  
(same person)  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
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Squall: .....Why am I here?  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Because you lost a bet to me and now you're suffering the   
consenquences of going on a date with me.  
  
Squall: .....................  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Don't worry, I was just kidding. You're just here  
cause a lot of people wanted to ask you questions that's all.  
  
Squall: ..........Um.......yeah. Okay.  
  
Kaitou: Well, this is only the beginning so people, send in your  
questions to Squall and ME by reviewing this chapter and I'll  
be sure to post it here!! ^^ You could also e-mail them to me at:  
WhenDreamsCollide@hotmail.com!! *drops something* Whoops!  
*bends over to pick it up*  
  
Squall: .........I have a question......  
  
Kaitou: What? *still leaning down*  
  
Squall: Is it normal to see down a girl's shirt?   
  
Kaitou: WHAT? *quickly gets up and whacks him  
with a long, wax candle*   
  
Squall: Ahhhhh!!! What have you DONE to my BEAUTIFUL HAIR?!  
You've RUINED IT!! Do you knopw how many HOURS it takes me to   
keep this style?!?!  
  
Kaitou: Hours? Ha! Then how come I see a SLIT END?!  
  
Squall: WHAT?!?! F*CK THIS HERBAL ESSENCE!!!  
  
Kaitou: Uhhh....anyway, send your questions in by either reviewing  
or e-mail me, okay?? ^^  
  
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Oh, and please PLEASE PLEASE R&R my other stories too!! PLEASE!! 


	2. Duct Tape

Hiyee!! ^^;; Thank your for sending in all of those questions!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: FFVIII does not belong to me and so do the soap and music bands listed in here......-_-;;  
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Kaitou: ........*whispers something into Squall's ear*....Okay?  
  
Squall: ....Promise??  
  
Kaitou: Duh. Okay, first up is Noi's questions!! ^^  
  
Squall: Oh boy....  
  
-----Noi  
So Squall...tell me, what do you think of all the people who view you and Seifer as a couple better destined than you and Rinoa?   
I mean the guy is a gorgoues blonde with a startling body (or so say a thousand other peoples (personally I don't care)) And,   
do you so desirably hate him from the bottom of you're heart? good day!  
------  
  
Squall: Okay, people who love each other don't give each other scars on each other's foreheads...  
I don't HATE Seifer, the only thing I hate about him is that he stole one of my shampoo bottles  
last night.....  
  
Kaitou: It's Bubbles Snickerdoodle's turn now!!  
  
-----Bubbles Snickerdoodle  
*Ahem* Yes, I have a question. *To Squall* Do you wear boxers, or briefs? And what color?  
------  
  
Squall: *raises an eyebrow* And you want to know BECAUSE?  
  
Kaitou: Come on, Squall. Answer the girl. Actuall,y I wanted to know that, too......^^;;  
  
Squall: ......-_- (I can't believe this) Whatever......Okay. I wear boxers and they're black.  
sometimes I wear gray on special occasions. Don't ask.  
  
Kaitou: REALLY?? Can I see??  
  
Squall: .....No.  
  
Kaitou: Meanie. Renegade Seraph is next!!  
  
-----Renegade Seraph  
Ok Squall, what i wanna know is this..Did you ever date Quistis? coz if you didn't you should have!  
~^-^~  
------  
  
Squall: No. If you remembered, I didn't know she even liked me until she told me in Disc 3.  
And I was going for Rinoa then, sorry.   
  
Kaitou: Next is Rachel!! Say Hi to her Squall!! ^^  
  
------Rachel  
Hi Squall! I just have to say your really sexy and I sooooo love you! My question is Will you marry me?  
And I have another question too do you straighten your hair, or maybe you have a personal hair stylist?  
Also What kind of job would you have if you weren't a seed, maybe a model? or perhaps hopefully a whore?  
Seifer is really butt ugly compared to you so how do you feel about the stories in which Rinoa leaves you for Seifer?   
How does she feel about them? I would feel totally sick, once I'd had you none would compare!   
Last question :) What was it like being left on the dance floor because that was such a shame and you did stand there for a very long time...  
I love you Squall!  
-------  
  
Squall: ....Will you....MARRY.....me....??? @@;;  
  
Kaitou: ^^;; Um, I think you'll have to ask Rinoa for permission, first. Squall, wake up, you still have questions to answer!!!  
  
Squall: Huh? Oh, yeah. My hair is naturally like this and I do my own hair. *narrows eyes* NO, I am NOT a WHORE, thank you.  
Seifer put you up to this, didn't he?? Danm him, he never rests....I'd probably be a Military General. Wait a minute...I dunno how   
Rinoa feels. I mean, with the whole "Adel" thing, she's probably not going back to Seifer for a long, LONG time. The dance floor  
.......uhhh.....I was standing there for a long time with that face cause I didn't know why she just suddenly ditched me. Then, I thought that I stepped on her foot or something....-_-lli Ughhh....memories........  
  
Kaitou: ....Uhhh....okay. Next is Tidus's Lil Angel!!   
  
-----Tidus's Lil Angel  
Haha, okay I have a question for Squally... If you had to become a girl for one day, who would you wanna be and why? It doesn't   
have to be anybody from FF, it could be anyone, just as long as it's a girl... hehe...  
------  
  
Squall: ....@@;; SQUALLY? Uh, okay. If I became a GIRL? I'd be Lulu. Yeah, definately LULU from FFX. Why? I'm not saying.  
  
Kaitou: OOhhh...I like Lulu too!! =^^= She's so cool and she totally kicks ass!!  
  
Squall: Yeah. Finally something we have in common.......-_-  
  
Kaitou: Hey, what's THAT supposed to mean?? Dark Raion is up!!   
  
-----Dark Raoin  
To the Author: You better watch out. Last I heard, they banned these types of fics. Run!  
(AN: They DID? *gasp!!* Uh-oh.....-_-lli What should I do??? No, really. I don't know what  
to do!! Somebody tell me!! Please!!)  
  
Okay, my questions... I've thought long and hard about this for all of about two seconds and, well, here goes... Does it ever annoy you   
that people keep making you do these Q & A fics? Does it bother you that people constantly attempt to pair you with other guys, and   
Quistis, or even the unstoppable cocain-powered force that is Selphie? Are Gunblades really heavy? If you knew you could get away   
with it, would you kill Seifer? 'Cause I would. Do you like Linkin Park? What is the meaning of life? Alright, ignore the last one. I'm   
out of questions, but I'll expect answers soon. Preferably before they shut this fic down for stupid rules. We should protest! Okay,   
I'm done.... Until next chapter ~Dark Raion  
------  
  
Squall: Annoy me?? ANNOY ME?? DANM RIGHT!! Do you know how I LOOK right now?? I'm currently STRAPPED to the   
chair with DUCT TAPE okay??   
  
Kaitou: What? Why are you all looking at me like that?? It's not MY fault!! He didn't want to answer the questions!! ^^;; Tee-hee?  
  
Squall: Pairing? I guess it's okay, cause the game was based on my and Rinoa anyway, so the fans are just saying "WHAT IF" that's   
all and they "THINK" that it's better, that's all.   
  
Kaitou: Hey, Selphie uses COCAINE?? Alright!! Something I can bribe her with now!!   
  
Squall: *stares at Kaitou* Ignore her. Anyway--Yes, Gunblades are heavy becuase, after all, they ARE made out of steel, right?   
Would I kill Seifer? Lady, if I could kill Seifer, I'd be in Hawaii with Rinoa right now, okay? Linkin Park? Yeah, it's okay.   
The meaning of life: Is to KILL YOUR ENEMIES!! *coughs* Okay, I was just kidding at that last part....  
  
Kaitou: Oooh, here's an interesting one!! It's from trajik007!!  
  
-----trajik007  
Squall................I actually have two questions.............................*BLUSH*.........are you a virgin???????.....................  
if not, who'd ya lose it to?????????????????????  
------  
  
Squall: @@;; I think I need to go lay down now.......  
  
Kaitou: Weeeellll??  
  
Squall: ...........I feel like I 've just been violated; and I don't like it....@@;;  
  
Kaitou: Uhhh....^^;; Anyway, onto the next one!! ^-^;; You're up Spork!!  
  
-----Spork  
Well let see.....Squall I got a question for ya. Where did you get your ring and necklace?  
------  
  
Squall: eBay.com That was easy.  
  
Kaitou: @@;; For real?  
  
Squall: Duh.  
  
Kaitou: Zulu, here you go!!  
  
-----Zulu  
i have 2 questions.   
1: How do you put up with riona????  
2: Why do you always hold your gunblade like you're afraid that someone's gonna snatch it from you?????  
------  
  
Squall: How do I put up with her? Easy. Ear plugs. I hold it like that cause somebody WOULD snatch it from me...*eyes Kaitou*  
  
Kaitou: What? Anyway, Mina Anderson is up, Mr. I-Know-You-Want-To-Snatch-My-Gunblade-And-Add-It-To-Your-Collection-Of-  
FFVIII-Originals!!  
  
-----Mina Anderson  
Heya there, Squall-Squall. ^_^ Yes, it is another of your neurotic fangirls out to torment you. Yes, 'torment'. ::cough::   
Anyways, on to my questions! What is your favorite type of pepper? Do you prefer bubble baths or cold showers? Why exactly do   
you wear so many belts? Do you like spinach? If you were forced to, would you rather watch Barney or Teletubbies? Do you like   
FISH (as in the vile creatures in general)?? Who did you vote for in the past election? If you were stranded on a desert island with   
Seifer and Rinoa, who would you seek to relieve your sexual tension with? What type of soap do you use (no shampoo, mind you)?   
If you could, would you kill that annoying-ass little chocobo kid? And finally, do you floss? Thanks soooo much for your time! ^_^  
P.S. By the way, I have a giant wallscroll of you hanging by my bed.  
.....  
Yeah, that's all I have to say.  
------  
  
Squall: Torment? Lady, I'm ALREADY tormented. *looks at Kaitou*  
  
Kaitou: Squall, I know I'm an attractive person to look and stare at like that but don't you think it's going a little overboard?  
  
Squall: ..........I like bell peppers and I like cold shower...especially in the morning.....I wear so many belts cause I'm afraid my pants will fall down, duh.  
Spinach is okay, I guess, as long as they're not raw. Ha. I DARE them to try and force me to. Fish? Fish is nice, as long as I'm not the one who's catching it.  
I sisn't vote. I'm 17. Look, I WISH I could be stranded on a desert island. Why? Two reasons: I get to kill off Seifer in private and I get Rinoa all to my self.  
I use Ivory soap.........I can't kill him cause he reminds me so much of me when I was his age. Of course I floss, if I didn't, Dr. Kadowaki would puch me out  
of the window on my dentist appointment. And that hurts. You have a wallscroll of me....?  
  
Kaitou: *gasp* ME TOO!! I kiss it EVERYDAY in the morning when I wake up!! =^^=  
  
  
Squall: ......Uhhh......Thank you for sharing that with me, Kaitou, it really brightened my day.  
  
Kaitou: Really? Anytime Squall, anytime......Last one is Flaming Shiva.....  
  
-----Flaming Shiva  
Dude... That all? Write more. By what I've seen right now, I don't know WHAT to say...  
------  
  
Kaitou: What's wrong?? Was it bad?? If so, I'm really sorry. ;_; But at least this chapter's better, right? ......Right?  
  
Squall: ..........  
  
Kaitou: Well, thank you all for sending in all those questions!! ^^   
  
Squall: *has duct tape on his lip* Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot.  
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Hi!! Kaitou here!! My full name is Kaaitou Rikku!! ^^ My other name is KawaiiDreamer!! How was this chapter??   
Was it okay? Please R&R!! ^^ PLEASE!! Oh, and PLEASE R&R MY OTHER STORIES TOO!! PLEASE!! ^^;;  
2nd chapter will come out as soon as more reviews come in. 


	3. Kidnapped?

I don't get it!! How come THIS fic gets all the attention?? What about my OTHER fics?? HUH??  
Hello? Argh! Never mind. ^^ Yes, this is Kaitou Rikku, but people just call me Kaitou (Theif) for  
good reasons. What? Why are you looking at me like that?? WHAT??   
  
Disclaimer: FFVIIII, McDonalds, and other stuff here do not belong to me, but to their rightful owners, duh.  
  
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Kaitou: Is it time yet?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: Is it time yet?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: Is it time yet?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: Is it--  
  
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Kaitou: *nearly blown away* GOD SQUALL! No need to YELL!!  
  
Squall: *panting*  
  
Kaitou: Is it time yet? Hehehee....just kidding. *notices* Oh, they're all here now.  
It's TIME!!!  
  
Squall: *looks up to the ceiling and puts his hands together* Thank you God.........  
  
Kaitou: Hi, and welcome, eveyone. ^^ Our first question is from Garet with a perplexing question.  
  
-----Garet  
Question:  
Squall, how is it that you are 17 and your father (Laguna) is only 27? That means that he   
was only 10 when... o.o ...and he looked a lot older than 10 at that time.  
-------  
  
Squall: Oooh, actually that is a really easy question.  
  
Kaitou: You see, when Squall was dreaming,Laguna was 27 AT THAT TIME in the dream.  
So Laguna would probably be around his late 30s right now. Next question is from Steel!!  
  
-----Steel  
Squall,I have one question,  
How does it feel being the only non-blonde main hero in the FF series.(7~10)  
------  
  
Squall: What? You don't like my hair? *talks in a hurtful voice* You know, I spend  
3 HOURS in front of the mirror every morning so I could get this look......A-and I  
just--just WANT to have a little credit, y-you know??  
  
Kaitou: Geesh, Squall. No need to get emotional. It's not like you. @@;;  
The person's just asking you how you FEEL about it.  
  
Squall: Oh. That changes things then.  
  
Kaitou: No, really.  
  
Squall: Oh god, all the guys always talk about this whenever we go to the cafe. ALWAYS!!   
  
Kaitou: I think it's like that cause after the more "Fantasy" in FFVII (I love FFVII, too), Square started to  
go in a more "realistic" story. Such as learning to love. Don't get me wrong. FFVII has love difficulties too,   
but it's more of a love triangle. So, I guess that's WHY.  
  
Squall: How I feel? I feel okay, I guess. I got a lot of admiriers......  
  
Kaitou: *waves arm frantically in front of Squall* SQUALL! SQUALL!! Over HERE!! Look at ME!!  
LOOK AT ME!!   
  
Squall: Kaitou, you sit right in front of me. I can see you.  
  
Kaitou: AHHHHHHHH!! HE SEES ME!! HE LOOKED AT MEE!! OMG!! OMG!! NEXT LETTER FROM Shards of Sky!!  
  
-----Shards of Sky  
Squall, why in the name of Hyne did you reject Quistis? speaking of Hyne, are you religious? if so, what religion? also,   
what's your favorite model Gunblade? what would you do if Kaitou here were to untie you and ask you to ravage her (yes,   
i just had to throw in a token perv question)? last question - what do you think of Xu?  
--------  
  
Squall: Why? The game was like that, but you can always make fanfics about me and her. Religious? I'm not sure.......  
My favorite model is the Lion Heart. What would I do if Kaitou were to untie me and.......@@;;  
  
Kaitou: ..............  
  
Squall: .................  
  
Kaitou: Is it just me, or is it getting disturbing in here?  
  
Squall: I don't know, and I don't want to find out.  
  
Kaitou: Okay, from now on, all perverted questions concerning me and Squall go straight to Irvine, okay?  
  
Squall: Yeah, like I'd even ravage YOU......  
  
Kaitou: OH? Like there's something WRONG with me? (Not that's I'd LET you ravage me.......)  
  
Squall: Uhh--no, no. I just..............................  
  
Kaitou: We'll talk about this later. Mai is talking to you.  
  
-----Mai  
Hi kaitou ^_^!!!  
hi squall ( I can't beleive I'm saying that .  
-------  
  
Kaitou: Hiyee, Mai!! ^^  
  
Squall: That wasn't a question but....*waves hand cautiously when Kaitou brings out a wooden log*  
  
Kaitou: ^^ RPGirl's next!!  
  
-----RPGirl (too lazy to log in)   
Hi Squall and Kaitou!  
So Squall, what does it feel like to save the world? Has your life more meaning now?  
How do you feel about that the jerk Laguna is your father (no offense...)?  
Are you going to MARRY Rinoa? *giggle, giggle*  
Would you mind to come by my house on my birthday, march 3rd?   
And to Kaitou, if someone tries to take this story (ah, well) away, tell me, and I'll knock 'em so hard they'll be bouncing   
for a week! And by the way, give Squally a big kiss for me! ^.^  
--------  
  
Squall: Saving th world has really changed me. It really hit me how it took only 48 hours.  
  
Kaitou: 48 HOURS?? Only??  
  
Squall: Well, that's how long it took for you to beat FFVIII.....  
  
Kaitou: Oh.  
  
Squall: My life has a but more meaning now, since I've been reunited with my friends from the orphanage...Laguna   
being my father doesn't bother me..............the fact that he used to have a crush on Rinoa's mom DOES. @@;; MARRY   
Rinoa? I dunno.......she didn't ASK me yet....  
  
WHACK!!  
  
Kaitou: *whacks Squall with the log* YOU'RE the one who has to propose, weirdo!!  
  
Squall: Okay, okay!! I'm still new to this whole "LOVE" thing, okay?? March 3rd........I dunno. I might be   
busy with trying to overthrow another power-hungrey sorceress......  
  
Kaitou: If someone tries to steal this story, i'll let you know first, okay?? ^^ Thank you very much for   
caring so much!!   
  
Squall: What does she mean when she says give "Squally a big kiss for me"....?  
  
Kaitou: .............................  
  
Squall: ..............................  
  
Kaitou: ...........................You DID brush your teeth this morning, didn't you?  
  
Squall: ........What for?  
  
Kaitou: I think I'm going to regret this but....................  
  
Squall: WHAT?? You don't MEAN--NOOOOOOOO!   
  
Kaitou: *closes her eyes* Squall, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this before but--I like another  
guy, too.  
  
Squall: .........WHAT?  
  
Kaitou: I mean, I'll always love you, too, but I also like this one guy, too..........  
  
Squall: *happy* YOU DO??? WHO??  
  
Kaitou: ..............  
  
Guy: Doko wa......INU-YASHA!!! (My name is......INU-YASHA!!) *pulls out really  
HUGE sword towards Squall*  
  
Squall: ........................@@;;   
  
Kaitou: ^^;; *tells Inu-chan to put his soward away* Yeah. So you'll both have to be   
willing to share ONE fan girl, okay??  
  
Squall: I'd be happy to give you away, ANYTIME.  
  
Kaitou: *ignores statement* AlBhedDreamer, let's see you work you machina!!  
  
-----AlBhedDreamer  
Okayies! *waves* My questions are, if you were on Survivor and you had to eat either   
a horsefly, or a dungbeetle, which would you choose and why? If you took me on a date,   
*giggles* where would you take me? Do you like Austin Powers? How many fingers am   
I holding up? How do you feel when people bash Rinoa? Out of all the Final Fantasy 8   
characters, which do you consider your best friend? Do you ever out of the blue break   
dance? Um.. that's about it. Love ya! and call me! *hands him phone number and winks*  
---------  
  
Squall: *inhales* Horsefly--sounds better. McDonalds. Don't have that movie in my world.  
Three. Weird and sorta interested. Zell. No. Call you?   
  
Kaitou: Come on!! Let me see! I'll save it for you!! *takes paper away from his hands*  
*reads* "1-800-SQUALL-LUVER".................Uh, okay. Noir Malefice, let's hear your words  
of wisdom....  
  
------Noir Malefice  
OK 2 things :  
1: Dude ok how come ya look like a girl?My sis thought u and Irvine where females  
2: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH UR JACKET!?? IT FUR COLLAR LOOKS   
LIKE KILLED A DOG....  
---------  
  
Squall: Somebody drew me like that--or i was born this way. Sorry if it offends you.  
I did NOT kill a dog.  
  
Kaitou: Yeah, it was a squirrel.  
  
Squall: SQUIRREL??   
  
Kaitou: Yeah. good thing you agree with me, Squall. ^^ Quycksylver's next!!  
  
-----Quicksylver  
OK...here are my questions for Squall  
1. Why are you such a jerk?  
2. Who is your favorite guy to be paired with in yaoi fics?  
3. Who/What did you have to sleep with to get the starring role in FF8?  
4. What the hell are all those belts for? Chastity?  
~Q~  
--------  
  
Squall: Because I'm anti-social, thus I'm strapped to a chair to answer these tedius questions.  
  
Kaitou: *throws Squall her death-glare*  
  
Squall: M-my favorite guy?? @@;; *faints*  
  
Kaitou: *holding a chainsaw* What? Why are you guys looking at me like that??  
I didn't do anything but turn this thing on!!  
  
Squall: Sleep with? .................*stares at Kaitou*  
  
Kaitou: What?  
  
Squall: *turns back tot he audience* You're better off not knowing. I already told you, the belts are for  
just in case my pants fall down. They ARE baggy, you know.  
  
Kaitou: .............Uh, okay. Dark Raion, please begin your sharing....^^  
  
------Dark Raion  
I've returned...  
To Kaitou: First off, shame on you for strapping Squall to a chair with duct tape. What if you mess   
up his hair? Second, they may have changed the rules. Or maybe, if we all stay quiet about it, they   
won't notice. On to my questions.  
Squall: So, why don't you just kill Seifer, then, and call it self defense? After all, you are the   
commander of a Garden, and he is the scourge of the universe. Who's word would they take? Or better yet,   
I can kill him for you! Okay, moving on... Why didn't you shut Selphie up when she would start singing that   
damn train song? Do you ever intend to retire from SeeD? Could I hire you to assasinate N'Sync? Do you ever   
plan on having children, like with Rinoa? Okay, that's it for now...  
Oh yeah... I have two posters AND a wall scroll. So there! But don't you think kissing it in the morning, or   
any time of day for that matter, is going WAY overboard, Kaitou? Sayonara ~Dark Raion  
-----------  
  
Kaitou: I HAD TO!! He wouldn't answer any of the questions!!  
  
Squall: Self Defense? Hey, great idea. Selphie was having a good time, so I decided not  
to do anything.....after all, she does have IRVINE following her which would be some sort of nightmare....  
Retire? I guess. I don't DO assasinations; Irvine does. Of course I plan of having kids. who else would  
gain control of SeeD after I die??  
  
Kaitou: ^^;; I was just being a little sarcastic there. I mean, since with my new poster of Inu-chan,  
I haven't kissed it for a week now.  
  
Squall: YES.  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, Angel's Wing (tasukiandtoyasgirl@yahoo.com)'s asking you a question Squall!!  
  
Squall: Joy to the world.  
  
----Angel's Wing (tasukiandtoyasgirl@yahoo.com)  
Ok Squall I have a couple of questions for you:  
  
1.If you had a beautiful blonde hair, green eyed woman(with big breast she has been told by admirors)   
wanting you everyday that she stares at her Squall action figure, gorgious Squall poster and wallscroll,  
would you dump Rinoa and go out with her? Or keep the brown haired little annoying bitch in which you   
now call "girlfriend" or other wise known and Rinoa..*cough*slut*cough*?  
2.I don't care if this violates your rights or not! You are tied down and ducktaped my friend!   
All I want to know is a)Are you a virgin? and b)if so would you do it with the blonde described up above   
and if you aren't who did you do it with and would you still do it with the blonde described up above?  
Thanks for your time dead gorgeous!  
Angel's Wing  
--------  
  
Squall: I might, if I lived in your world, but you'll have to have more than looks. A-a VIRGIN......??  
I-I-I.............................  
  
Kaitou: ....................So, Squall. *holds up chainsaw*  
  
Squall: *stares at chainsaw* Y-YES!! I'm still 17!! 17!! I'm trying to save sex for AFTER I get married!!  
*stares at Kaitou and mouths: I. DESPISE. YOU.*  
  
Kaitou: *mouths: I. LOVE. YOU. LOTS. TOO. SQUALL.* So, what do you have to say, PinkStarz??  
  
-----PinkStarz  
Ooh, Squally is in a chair with duct tape! How fun! Ok, My Q's are:  
1) In Kingdom Hearts, what's with the long hair, belts on the arm, and wings on the back of your jacket,   
which are exactly like Rinoa's?  
2) What do you always say '...whatever.' Do you think it makes you cool or something?  
3) What's with the fur on the jacket?  
and finally...  
4) If you had to be locked in a room with either Seifer, Selphie, Rinoa, Quistis, Zell, or rvie,   
who would it be and why?  
---------  
  
Squall: @@;; I have those??  
(AN: Hey, send me one of those pics!! ^^)  
  
Squall: Anyway, I say "whatever" because I want to END conversations. Since I was   
an anti-social person, I didn't like to talk much. WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THE   
STUPID FUR JACKET!! If I would be stick in a room,  
it'd be with Seifer, cause then I could kill him and say it was Self Defense.  
  
Kaitou: L&H is next!! ^^  
  
-----L&H  
LIkE OMG! Ok so like hi Squally boy Here are my questions  
  
1* What song did you hum to that shadow in Obel Lake?  
2* If you could be any type of animal what would it be  
3* If you had the chance to kill Seifer right now  
how would you do it (:asuming you were not tied to a chair with duct tape:)  
4* If you were trapped on a desert island with the whole gang and all of them   
were driving you eaqually  
nuts and all you had with you was a base ball bat who would you hit with it first  
5* OHHHH and last question!  
How long do you think you will be under Kaitou's  
command assuming you dont try to escape?  
Bye Bye Squally boy bye Kaitou  
-------  
  
Squall: Uh, "hi" to you, too. I'd be a lion, duh. The old-fanshioned way: take him  
out to a Chinese Resturant and stick a chopstick right through his heart. I'd definately  
hit Laguna; even though he is my dad since he never shuts up. And about Kaitou.......-_-;;  
  
Kaitou: ^^;; Um, you know my name, right? "Kaitou" means Theif in Japanese!! ^^;;  
So ummmm.............I sorta......well..........  
  
Squall: Come on. They deserve to know.  
  
Kaitou: ...........I..............I KIDNAPPED HIM!!  
  
Audience: GASP!!  
  
Kaitou: I'm sorry, but I HAD TO!!! It's in my NAME!!   
  
Squall: ....Thus, I'm strapped to a chair with duct tape. -_-;;  
Yes, symphasize me.  
  
Kaitou: I promise I'll release him SOON!! But that would mean the end of ASK SQUALL!!  
  
Squall: Gee. That'd be too bad.  
  
Kaitou: Quiet. *slaps a peice of duct tape to his forhead*  
  
Squall: .............................  
  
Kaitou: Redrum's next!!  
  
----Redrum  
It's too bad they banned these from ff.net. If they were all as funny as this I would deffenitly protest against the rule. ^_^  
  
Question(s):  
Why do you always wear gloves?  
Why do you like Rinoa, when all she does is call you a meanie?  
How do you feel about yaoi?  
Do you like poetry?  
-------  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Thank you for thinking all of this rambling as funny!! ^^ THANK YOU! I worked really  
hard trying to smuggle Squall in my suitcase here!! ^^  
  
Squall: Yeah. Thanks. Thanks a lot.  
  
Kaitou: Squall, you have some questions, remember?  
  
Squall: ..........I wear gloves cause I handle my gunblade a lot and my hands would get all sore if I don't.   
If you don't get that, play the game over again. Yaoi is what Yoai is. As long as they don't really include  
it in the actual GAME. Poetry? I'm not sure.  
  
Kaitou: Last one is trajik007!!  
  
------trajik007'  
..........uh oh...this one may make him seriously faint................have you ever.........umm...........i cant say it like that.......  
have you ever............fantasised about.............a certain blond guy thats 6"somthin', green eyes, always smirking, smart   
A^%$, yet seiously hot guy named Seifer??????????????????? DETAILS PLEEEEEEEEEEESE  
----------------  
  
Squall: You're right. I am going to faint. Hold on, this MAY take a few seconds.  
  
Kaitou: .................*few seconds go by*.....................  
  
Squall: *faints*...........................  
  
Kaitou: Wow, 5 seconds. He's never held out this long before. Wait a minute!! Squall!! Wake up!!  
I have to tell you something!!! COME ON!! *starts to simulaniously slap him across the face*  
  
Squall: I'M AWAKE, I'M AWAKE!! GOD, DO YOU WAKE EVERYONE UP LIKE THIS????  
  
Kaitou: Soory. It's a habit. ANYWAY, I've got something to ask you.  
  
Squall: .......NO. NOO!! NO WAY!! We're both TOO YOUNG!! NO.  
  
Kaitou: Huh? I was just.......going to ask you if you liked a red chainsaw or a blue chain saw....  
what do you mean by--*finally gets it* ..............................  
  
Squall: ........................................  
  
Kaitou: You thought that I was.................asking you to.................  
  
Squall: ....................................  
  
Kaitou: THAT'S IT!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR PERVERTED TALK AND THOUGHTS, SQUALL!!  
YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND A WHOLE DAY IN A ROOM LOCKED WITH LAGUNA!! STARTING NOW!!  
  
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Kaitou: Oh, before that, I want to know something.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Kaitou: Are we done with this fic yet?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: Now?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: Now?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Kaitou: NOW?  
  
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaitou: Geesh, Squall, no need to YELL. Unless you want to be stuck with Zell AND Laguna....  
  
Squall: THE HORROR--THE HORROR!!!!!!!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So how was this one?? I know the ending was a bit weird, though......^^;; You can now either direct questions  
to either Squall OR me, so feel free to ask!! ^^ Don't worry, Squall was not, in any way, physically harmed.  
Mentally is a different matter. 


	4. Fight

OKAY. This TEARS it. I can NOT understand why this fic gets so much attention!!!  
Is it cause it's FUNNY? WELL?? If that's so, then what about my OTHER fics too???  
They're as funny as this one will ever be!!! Come on!! If I don't get enough reviews   
for my other fics I'm gonna BLOW (NO, not THAT way, you perverts)!!! Pleeeeaaasssse  
R&R my other stories too. ^^;; Anyway, on to this fic.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Chapter 4: Fight  
  
Author: Kaitou Rikku (Master Theif)  
  
Disclaimer: No, Squall is not mine, even though I did manage to kidnap him and duct  
tape him to a chair. He still belongs to his rightful owners no matter how hard I try.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Squall: Kaitou, no.  
  
Kaitou: Please??? I think you're getting lonely!!!  
  
Squall: No.   
  
Kaitou: But you're lonely.  
  
Squall: NO. I DO NOT want you to kidnap HAMATARO to keep me company!!  
  
Kaitou: Awwww, but he's so cuuuuuuute...............  
  
Squall: ........................................I'm won't say anthing. -_-;;  
  
Kaitou: Hmpth. Quycksylver is first.  
  
---Quycksylver  
Hee! I made Squall faint! *does a happy dance* But you never answered my yaoi question...  
so who IS your favorite yaoi partner? *maniacal laughter*  
  
~Q~  
--------  
  
Squall: Oh yeah, fine. Side with the Theif, why don't you???  
  
Kaitou: *snif* You're just jealous, that's all.  
  
Squall: Please, I have more fans than you'll ever have.  
  
Kaitou: Oh YEAH?? I'm SURE that there are LOTS of guys out there who like me!!  
Right???? RIGHT?? Yes, I'm talking to YOU!! The guy who's reading this!!  
  
Squall: Kaitou, I really think you're losing it.  
  
Kaitou: OH REALLY?? Then how come I'M not the one who can't pick potential  
gay mate???  
  
Squall: HEY.  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, just answer it before I put bows in your hair again.  
  
Squall: Enough said. Seifer.  
  
---Tankzer  
Squall most people have said FF8 sucks?What is your idea of this?And which is  
your fave FF game?(Not inculding 8 or 7,inculing tactics) But last,out of all the   
aeons,summons,and GF's which are your top 10 fave's?  
------  
  
Squall: If those people are reading this, they're wasting their time.  
  
Kaitou: Squall, that was mean. If people don't like you or me or FFVIII,  
I don't give a danm. People think what they think. No one can  
control other people's feelings.  
  
Squall: @@;; That was the most soulful thing you said in this series.  
Anyway, my favorite FF game would be FFX. My favorite aeon  
is......................Griever, from VIII. Shiva from FFX.   
  
Kaitou: Kamikaze Mission is next!!  
  
---Kamikaze Mission  
firstly,Kaitou: Kudos on managing to kidnap Squall and duct tape him to a chair, wish i had thought of it... o well   
Okies- Squall, hon, have you ever even FANTASIZED about Quistis? I mean, she has got to be the prettiest   
girl in the game, and why you picked rinoa over her baffles me, PLUS her weapon is a whip!!!! That has to give   
you ideas... can you even imagine all the possibilities?!  
-----------  
  
Kaitou: Thank you for the kudos!! ^^  
  
Squall: Ugh. Another Kaitou fan.  
  
Kaitou: Hey!! Anyway, I'd liek to tell you aaaalllll about me kidnapping Squall!! ^^  
  
Squall: Great.  
  
Kaitou:  
  
1. Balamb Garden was big!! I was posing there as a student!! ^^ But danm, those shoes were killing me  
and that DRESS. UGH. I HATE dresses.   
2. On the second day there, Irvine began to stalk me for some reason. Don't know, don't ask.  
3. The third day, I stole a hotdog from Zell. It was GOOD. But that's okay though, cause he had 99  
more hotdogs. Oh, and did I mention that Zell started to choke? Yeah, he passed out, but the library  
girl gave him CPR so it was okay.  
4. On the fourth day, I still haven't seen Squall. I was beginning to give up....Well, that day  
I saw Selphie performing The End to some of her stalkers.  
5. That day was the fateful day. I kidnapped Squall by tricking him with a water gun. Don't ask.  
Sure, he was sorta wet, but alive.  
6. I stuffed him into my suitcase and made it to here. ^^  
7. This day was when the first chapter of this story came out. ^^  
  
Squall: Painful memories........  
  
Kaitou: ^^;;  
  
Squall: Okay, I'm NOT a pervert and I don't touch Quisitis's whip, ok?  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, Squalls' Girl is next.  
  
---Squall's Girl  
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Squall I'm like, so in love with you!!!!! I own 4 different wallscrolls   
(but theres no possible way that they'll all fit in my room so I only have one up and switch ocasionally),   
2 posters, a painting of you that I won at an auction at an expo, a key chain, an action figure/model   
and a SUPER KAWAII chibi plush doll thats about 35 cm long and is very cuddly. Your still a virgin?!?!   
thats sooooooo cute!!!!!! I loooooooove the way you do your hair!!!!!!!! Its VERY attractive and frames your   
face perfectly!!!! Don't change it! I love your outfit too!!!!! Don't listen to what other people say, your sexy.   
You are so hot and yet to find anyone hotter. Anyhoo on with the questions.  
1.So like does the blade part of your gunblade get in the way of the guns part firing? And thats why you have to   
fire right when the gunblade touches the enemy. To make it short, can it fire from a distance like a regular gun?  
2.Do you watch anime? If so, which one is your favorite? If not I recomend you see Rurouni Kenshin/Samuri X,   
its good.  
-----  
  
Squall: ........No, it can't. Yes I do. And do you know why?  
  
Kaitou: Because I force him to watch it with me cause I looooove anime!! ^^  
  
Squall: ......................  
  
Kaitou: Kimi Valkyrie is next!!  
  
---Kimi Valkyrie  
Hehehe. Very good job of duct taping Squall up.  
Hi Squall! I have a copy of your Griever chain and I have several questions to ask:  
1) Why did you say sorry to Rinoa when she called you a meanie in Timber?  
2) Why are you stoic?  
and  
3) What is up with the three belts on your leg??? if your pants were falling, you would place three belts also on your other leg!!  
3.What kind of music do you like? And whats your favorite artist?  
4.Will you sign one of my wallscrolls?  
---------  
  
Squall: ANOTHER Kaitou fan!! Danm it all!!!  
  
Kaitou: Hey!! That's MY fan, you big bully!!   
  
Squall: Whatever. I said "sorry" cause I didn't want her to think I was a "meanie"......I think. I'm stoic cause I am.   
The belts, you'll have to ask my creators cause I was just guessing. Music? Don't listent o much of it.  
Sign one of your wallscrolls?  
  
Kaitou: Ooooh, sign mine too!!!!  
  
Squall: Leave me alone!!!  
  
Kaitou: Fine. Rinoa aka Kayah (forest_dame@hotmail.com) is next.  
  
---Rinoa aka Kayah (forest_dame@hotmail.com)   
Hiya Squalls and Kaitou!!! (You're doing a fantastic job Kaitou!!!)  
  
Okay, Squally babe. I have your ring on my finger right now and I also look like Rinoa, I AM Rinoa.   
So whatcha say to that hon? I am Rinoa in a different world...but anyway questions...  
  
What do you like better? Llama's or Mad Goats? And if I offered you a bowl of fried chicken with  
noddles, would you accept it?  
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SOME GUY'S HARRASSING ME!!! SQUALL!!! SAVE ME! *cries*  
Mwuahaha...he's gone for now, I'm asking you questions from the safty of the goldfish pond...but anyway...  
If I said that General Caraway was trying to marry me off in an arranged marrage to Irvine, Laguna,   
Raijin or Seifer, what would you do?And what do you like better? Chocolate or Champagne?  
Come bring me back to our world Squally....this world's scary...  
---------  
  
Squall: ANOTHER KAITOU FAN!!   
  
Kaitou: *gasp* This is Rinoa speaking Squall!!  
  
Squall: Oh. I liek llamas cause I do. Yes I would except. I'd take a chopstick and stick it through their hearts.  
chocolate. Don't worry, Rinaos. I'll go as soon as Kaitou frees me which won't be for another decade or so.  
  
Kaitou: Ha ha. Sirea is next.  
  
---Sirea  
Hi kaitou and...Squall...dammit, why didn't you kidnap Zell instead? at least he would have been a better sport about it! Ok, here's my questions...  
  
Is Zell really that hyper in real life?  
What's Zell's dorm room number?  
What's Zell's favorite hot dog condiment?  
Did Zell ever get over the Timber incident?  
Is Zell really suicidal and/or a drug addict like all the fanfics say?  
Squall, if you were gay, would you do it with Zell?  
  
Tee-hee...thanks! *swoon* I love Zell!  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: Kidnap Zell? I dunno. I'll have to feed him truckloads of hotdogs.....  
  
Squall: Why am I answering Zell's stuff?? Oh well. Yes, he is hyper active.   
Irvine and Quisits are currently trying to slip him depressents into his  
hotdogs....Room # is 136. Condiment? What's that? No, Zell  
is not a drug addict. I I were gay I'd............uhhhh...................  
  
Kaitou: TnM aka Touya no miko is next.  
  
---TnM aka Touya no miko  
Hiya Squally-poo!I have a few question for you!  
1.What does "Hyne" mean?  
2.Did you really kiss Rinoa at the end of FF8?  
3.If you can be invisible for one day what would ya do?  
4.If you were a girl what name do you want?  
That's all for now see ya!^_^V  
-------------  
  
Squall: "Hyne"?? I think it's a ketchup brand.  
  
Kaitou: That's "Hein", Squall.  
  
Squall: Whatever. Yes, I did kiss her, but I missed her mouth and got a lot of hair.  
I could could be invisable, I'd escape from Kaitou.  
  
Kaitou: HEY!!!  
  
Squall: I like the name "Lulu".....it rings to me somehow.....................  
  
Kaitou: .....Uhhhh.........okay. Fujin's Dude is here.  
  
--Fujin's Dude  
I got a question for you, you Quistis rejecting, gun-blade swinging peice of garbage!   
1: Is that you real colored hair?  
2: if you had any choice of a women from ff10, who would you want? (personally, Lulu.)  
3: have you ever though of knocking Rinoa out, tying her up, stuffing her in a suit case,   
pouring cement on it and sending it into space?  
-----------  
  
Squall: Dude, if you hate me that much, why are you still reading this??  
  
Kaitou: Answer the guy, Squall.  
  
Squall: *sighs* Yes, this is my real hair color. Lulu, I said. Yes, I've thought of that aaaaalllll  
throughout the second disc.  
  
Kaitou: Pepper is next.  
  
---Pepper  
pepper:1)why....are your pants so.....fuckin tight and don't tell me they're baggy cuz I   
played ff8 ten times in a row and they are NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
2)will u PLEEZ not kill seifer? Besides u, he's the only hot guy in the game. if u want to   
kill somone pleez kill riona, PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY(not to mention other riona haters)  
riona haters:YEAH!!!!  
pepper: SEE!!!! we will be very hapy if u kill that fuckin whore  
riona haters: YEAH!!!!!!  
---------------  
  
Squall: I ALREADY TOLD YOU!! ASK THE CREATORS!!  
  
Kaitou: *snif*  
  
Squall: What is it now???  
  
Kaitou: ......*snif* Nothing. You wouldn't understand cause you're not real.....  
  
(AN: Ok, look. Face it, Squall is not a real person. This fic is just for fun.   
*I* wrote it. *I*'m answering as Squall. I'm real and I have feelings, too, you know.  
If you want to point out a mistake, then you don't need to swear at me excessiely.  
It makes me sad and I feel bad, okay?? I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I try my best, ok??)  
  
Squall: I won't kill Seifer. Actually, he's not really a bad guy. Maybe we'll  
get over our differences one day and become friends........I can't really kill  
Rinoa either. She was alive in the end and there's not way I can change that.  
  
Kaitou: Sorry Keeshe Kal'daka, I only post reviews that have questions in it from now on. ^^;;  
AlBhedDreamer is next though.  
  
---AlBhedDreamer  
Hey Squally Dolly! Hey Kaitou! ^_^ I came back cos I had more questions! ^_^  
1. If Rinoa had never been in the game, and someone else...say, me, was in it instead,   
who would you pick to be together with? *blushes*  
2. Do you watch Sponge Bob Square Pants?  
3. If so, who's your favorite character?   
4. How do see your computer screen if you're always starring at your lap?  
5. If you had to be locked into a house, (I know what Kaitou is doing to you isn't much better,   
but anyway.) with only one person, who would it be?  
6. Do you watch soup operas?  
7. Would you ever take me on that date to McDonalds? ^_^'  
Byers!  
----------------  
  
Squall: Yes, i would because it'd be part of the game, right? Yes, I watch SpongBob.  
  
Kaitou: Yeah, I think it's cute!! ^^  
  
Squall: I like Patrick somehow.......I don't stare at my lap cause that's just wrong. My arms are duct tapped but my  
hands are free so I can type. Kaitou answered that question in the last chapter. No, I don't watch soap operas.  
Irvine does. I might if you help me escape.  
  
Kaitou: Hmpth. Don't worry Squall, I'll let you go, I promise!!   
  
Squall: Really?  
  
Kaitou: Yeah!! After all, I am the Master Theif!! I keep my word!!  
  
Squall: When?  
  
Kaitou: *looks a little sad* Soon........  
  
Squall: YES.  
  
Kaitou: Fire and ice monkey is next.   
  
---Fire and Ice monkey  
I feel kinda stupid doing this but... oh well...  
Does the thought of you and some dude scare you?  
Do you like history?  
if so... what is your favorite time deally?  
hm... well thats it... man... I wish I had one of my 13 characters duct taped to a chair in my room...  
---------  
  
Squall: Stupid?   
  
Kaitou: It's not stupid, this is funny!! ^^  
  
Squall: Uh, yeah, okay. The thought of me and another dude doesn't really scare me.  
I like history, I think. Lots of beheadings and stuff. The Elizibehtian times.  
  
Kaitou: Don't worry, Monkey. If you work hard, then you'll manage to kidnap a few characters too   
Noi is next.  
  
---Noi  
I'm back!   
This is what I want to know.  
  
1) What do you really feel about Rinoa, and you're other "friends"?  
  
2)And as I have heard, Edea (Matron) was a some sorcceress who was stoped? Anyhow, what I'm   
pointing at is that (I think) you and the others forgave her for what ever she did. But for the Seifer   
condition (Ultimecia etc.), you and the others haven't. My question is why is it so hard for you to   
forgive him, and so easy for you to forgive Edea (sorcceress)? Seifer was a child at the orphanage as   
Edea was the caretaker, too so you know both of them. What makes it so different? AND DO NOT COUT   
SEIFERS NAUGHTY ATTITUDE AS AN EXCUSE he was just him (all ppl are different). He was just   
another person trying to reach his personal goal.  
----------------  
  
Squall: Dedication is what I feel. We all forgave Edea cause she was being controlled by Utlimecia.   
I never said I hated Seifer. He's just my rival. I can forgive him anytime. But I haven't seen Seifer  
lately so.......  
  
Kaitou: Wow, Noi. ^^ Very nice insight of the human mind. Trajik007 is next.  
  
---Trajik007   
Okay, Squall? I know, I want to know somthing you might not know.............but..............  
if you dont know, can you ask him? for me????????????prrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeettttttttttyyyyyyyyy please???????   
Or, Kaitou, can you kidnapp him for a short time to answer da question? Okay, Would Seifer ever go out with me,   
and where would he take me? Why do you hate him so much? Is he inot porn? Is he an asshole to girls he likes? what   
about girls who like him? I'm kinda like Seifer. Does he like short women? Tall? blond, brunett or red head? tee hee, ok,   
just makin sure i fit his expectations. well, if I dont, I'll kidnapp him AND you, and do the same thing Kaitou is doing, only,   
both of you nakie and............oops, got carried away.......  
------------------  
  
Squall: Seifer probably would. He's popular with the ladies and he knows it. He'd probably take you to   
Chucky Cheese's. Trust me. I've seen pictures. I don't think he's into porn. And no, he's not an asshole.  
I dunno what type he likes in girls, but I think he's interested in girls like him................  
  
Kaitou: .....^^;;  
  
Squall: ..........You would......kidnap me and Seifer and..........  
  
Kaitou: ................  
  
Squall: Thank you for kidnapping me first, Kaitou.  
  
Kaitou: Anytime. you seem to have a lot of fans.  
  
Squall: Yeah, more than you.  
  
Kaitou NUH-UH!!  
  
Squall: UH-HUH!!!  
  
Kaitou: NUH-UH!!  
  
Squall: UH-HUH!!  
  
Kaitou:ALRIGHT!! THAT'S IT!! I can't stand you anymore!! Listen up, people-who-are-reading this!!  
Next chapter will be a BATTLE BETWEEN ME AND SQUALL!! The POINT?? WHO HAS MORE FANS!!!  
  
Squall: YOU'RE ON!!!  
  
Kaitou: FINE!!! *faces audience* WELL?? REVIEW AND ASK QUESTIONS AND VOTE FOR ME OR  
SQUALL!!!  
  
Squall: YOU AIN'T GOT A CHANCE!!  
  
Kaitou: I MAKE THAT UP BY KIDNAPPING YOU!!!  
  
Squall: THAT'S DIFFERENT!!!  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Weird chapter. Me and Squall fight. Review and vote. Tell us why you vote for either one of us, ok??  
News: The next chappy might be the secong last one........ R&R this and my other stories too!!!  
E-mail at KaitouRikku@attbi.com!!!  
  
Lotsa Love and Jewls,  
K a i t o u  
(M a s t er T h e i f) 


	5. Thief

Hi!! Wow, 55 reviews....THANK YOU!!! ^^ Um, if you liek THIS fic, you  
should read "1 Divided By 2 Equals" too, ok?? Cause it's as FUNNY as this!! PLEASE!!  
PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! ^^;; I'm DESPARATE!! And I'm SURE you'll like it!! ^^:;  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Chapter 5: Thief  
  
Author: Kaitou Rikku (duh)  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Squall does not belong to me, but to his rightful owners. Although I   
DID "borrow" him for a little while.....^^  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kaitou: ......Oh, alright!!!! But be WARNED. If those girls go after you, I'm  
gonna be with them.  
  
Squall: Awww....come on. It'll be much better if you were on my side.  
  
Kaitou: Ah-ha. Sorry, but theives stick together.  
  
Squall: ................Fine.  
  
Kaitou: Meg-chan is here!! ^^  
  
---Meg-chan  
Sorry Kaitou, but I vote for Squall! ~*looks at Squall with a dreamy   
expression on her face*~ Anyhow, my question! Squall, if you had a   
CHOICE and the creators of the game totally left the decision up to you,   
who would you have picked as your love interest-Rinoa or Quistis? Now quit   
dodging this question, and answer it! Please?!  
----------------  
  
Kaitou: ...............  
  
Squall: *starts to crack up* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! THEIVES STICK TOGETHER MY ASS!!!  
  
Kaitou: ............................Fine. So what if Meg chose a loner like you over an Amazon like me.  
We're still friends!! =^^= *holds up a machine gun* Right, Squally?  
  
Squall: Erk, yeah. Friends. ^^;; *mouths: "Major-Bitch" behind Kaitou's back*  
  
Kaitou: *mouths to audience: "Lunatic Bastard" to Squall* *turns around and faces Squall*  
Squall-honey, time to answer Meg. Be a man for once!!  
  
Squall: Yeah, whatever. I'd probably choose......Rinoa?? I dunno. *looks at Kaitou*  
You know, I coulda done with out the last comment there.  
  
Kaitou: Yeah. Sure. ooh, you got a letter from Zell and Seifer!! ^^  
  
Squall: WHAT???  
  
Kaitou: Ooohhhh.......  
  
---sefier/zell (justaname02@yahoo.com)   
S: Hey leonheart, went and got yourself ducttaped to a chair I see.  
Where are you hideing him Kaitou. *pulls zell close* Me and zell want to   
have some "fun" with him.*winks and kisses Zell*  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: @@;; Looks like Zell and Seifer went a little overboard with the cocaine.....  
  
Squall: ................@@;;   
  
Kaitou: Hmmmmm, *grins* Dearest Seifer, I'm not hiding him anywhere. You can take him ANYTIME.  
  
Squall: YOU WOULDN'T!!  
  
Kaitou: Oh-ho-ho--yes I would.   
  
Squall: YOU WOULDN'T!!!  
  
Kaitou: Well, not yet.   
  
Squall: .............Gee, I feel so secure. @@;;  
  
Kaitou: Trajik007!! Hi!! ^^  
  
---trajik007  
You OR Squall?????????? THATS HARD!!!!!!!! Weeeeeeeeell.......................hmm. Squall said   
Seifer would go out with me..............but Kaitou kidnapped him to make him say so. SOOOOO  
.....................I dun know if its allowed, but both. KAITOU RULES FOR KIDNAPPING SQUALL,   
And Squall...........ur just plain HOT!! (No where near as hot as Seifer, but ya) And you never   
answered my question. I asked what ur fantasy would be if you and Seifer were together.   
ANSWER. KAITOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE'S MY QUESTION TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can you kidnap seifer next?   
PERTY PLEEZ? thanks for the Seifer answer Squall...........i gotta go plan for Chucky Cheese!  
---------------------------  
  
Squall: ..............  
  
Kaitou: .................  
  
Squall: Can you choose both?  
  
Kaitou: Why are you asking me??  
  
Squall: Cause I don't know, duh!!  
  
Kaitou: But this story is called "ASK SQUALL"!!  
  
Squall: SOOOO???  
  
Kaitou: .......Nevermind!!!  
  
Squall: Fine.  
  
Kaitou: Well, anyway, thank you for choosing me and that.......that THING over there.....  
  
Squall: WHO IN THE NAME OF YEVON ARE YOU CALLING A "THING"????  
  
Kaitou: DO YOU SEE ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS ROOM???  
  
Squall: ................  
  
Kaitou: Yeah, I thought so. Answer the question already.  
  
Squall: What my fantasy WOULD be if Seifer and I WERE together?? Ummm, I'd imagine him  
taking me to a chinese resturant and chatting with him. I'd be careful, cause he'll probably  
make me choke on a peice os shrimp if I don't say anything.  
  
Kaitou: Um, okay. @@;; That was a weird fantasy. Could I kidnap Seifer next? I dunno.....  
I'm not really sure if I even WANT to continue with this fic cause.....  
  
Squall: *silently* YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS.  
  
Kaitou: *notices Squall* *takes out a air-filled, plastic hammer and bops him on the head*   
  
Squall: What was that for??  
  
Kaitou: *pauses and thinks* Actually, I don't know. Wow. How weird.  
  
Squall: @@;;  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, Elementking401 is next.  
  
---elementking401 (aeh.worldnet@att.net)   
Squall-If you could trade places with any other ff  
main character would you,and with who would you trade places with,and why?  
--------  
  
Squall: I guess I would. I'd probably be Tidus cause he has the coolest sword; next to my gunblade, that is....  
  
Kaitou: @@;; Guys are so weird. Anyway, Keeshe Kaldaka is next!! ^^  
  
---Keeshe Kaldaka  
Neh, I did put questions in there....damnit I forgot the question marks. -_- Woe is me.   
I'll ask again. o_o Neeeh.   
Mr. Headmaster...   
What is your type, in a person, genderless it is. More in looks and personailty?   
Neeh sorry for the mix up. o_o I hate English. ^_^ I do have this in my favorites though. And here is the   
reason you got more reviews. Usually people read more in stuff they know, meaning Final Fantasy 8, which   
they like. I learned that the hard way. Which is why now I am writting Weiß Kreuz fics. o_o And I am going   
to work on the Fanfic for FF8 soon. x_x Thats going to take me forever...   
-Keeshe "Keekee" Kal'daka-  
Ps: Squall! Use some magic to get out of there! xD Whahahahaa!  
-----------  
  
Squall: My type of person.......would be strong like me, would have perfect hair like me and would be   
smart like me and would be sexy like me and--  
  
Kaitou: Just--stop. We get the point. It's annoying.  
  
Squall: No it's not!! Annoying is listening to your ramblings everyday!!  
  
Kaitou: Well, excuse me for being the only girl in the whole town here!!  
  
Squall: Oh yeah, about that, how come you're the only girl here? Every town has at least three other girls  
besides you but....this town.....  
  
Kaitou: This town is freaky. Why do you think I talkt to you at night all the time?? For FUN?? I'm SCARED, STUPID!  
  
Squall: Oh, thanks for the comment. And I thought all along that you talked to me just because you were   
interested in my words and intellect. I'm hurt.  
  
Kaitou: WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HEARING HOW YOU CROSS-DRESS EVERY OTHER DAY???  
  
Squall: gasp* YOU SWORE THAT YOU'D NEVER TELL ANYBODY THAT!!!  
  
Kaitou: I gasp.  
  
Squall: Why?  
  
Kaitou: Squall, you are so weird.  
  
Squall: WHAT? HOW??  
  
Kaitou: You wrote a letter to yourself.  
  
Squall: No I didn't!!  
  
Kaitou: Oh, yeah? What about this?  
  
---Squall Leonhart  
Hi squall.  
1.My first question is why did you steal my name.  
2.Why do you act like me.  
3.Why did you steal my hairstyle.  
4.When did they come out with this game that explains everything   
that happened to me and rinoa and when is the movie(of course being the   
original squall that i am ill be in it right)and also thank god kaitou kidnapped you and not me.  
-----------------  
  
Squall: @@;; Oh my.........  
  
Kaitou: ......You're telling me.  
  
Squall: Uhhhh....  
  
Kaitou: Well, answer already.  
  
Squall: But that's so stupid!! Answering questions to myself!!  
  
Kaitou: Who ever said that you were a smart person??  
  
Squall: ARGH!!! YOU FREAKIN BITCH!!! I HATE YOU!!  
  
Kaitou: Oh yeah? Bite me.  
  
Squall: Oh, alright!! Geesh.....I didn't steal your name cause it's MY name!!  
I don't act like YOU because I AM you!! I didn't STEAL your hairstlye!!  
Don't YOU GET IT??? I AM YOU!!!!  
  
Kaitou: *stares at Squall* Ignore him. =^^= Anywhoo, "when" I created this fic?  
Um, last month. I was bored and I HAD this "Squall-obsession" and uhhhh......  
I wanted to prove my skills as a Master Theif to everyone!! Mwhahahahahaaaa!! ^^  
  
Squall: -_-;; Good for you.  
  
Kaitou: WICCA's question is next!! ^^  
  
---WICCA (is 2 lazt 2 sign in)   
Hello Squall and other person.Sum guestins for squall  
  
1: What's with your coat?  
2:What type of music do u like?  
3:Did Lulu (FFX) take the whole belt thing from u?  
4:and Do you agrre with me that Rinoa's a whinny B**ch?  
-----------  
  
Squall: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!   
  
Kaitou: HEY, who are you calling "OTHER PERSON"???  
  
Squall: WICCA, thank you.   
  
Kaitou: Hm........anyway, answer the questions.  
  
Squall: Fine. What with my coat? What? Something wrong??  
Grrrr........oh well, I'll let you slide on the account of insulting Kaitou......  
  
Kaitou: *gives Squall her death-glare* ..........  
  
Squall: Anyway, I like classical music. I don't know why, but it's funny to  
see people killing each other on the battle field with classical music on. ^^  
  
Kaitou: Uh, okay. @@;;  
  
Squall: Did Lulu? Well, I WISH. Rinoa can sometimes be a but whinny   
but I know lots of worse kinds of girls than her......  
  
Kaitou: If you look at me, Squall, I will give you a beating so bad, you won't know  
what hit you until you're at the gates of Heaven.  
  
Squall: *clears throat* Anyway.....  
  
Kaitou: MadMax is here!! ^^  
  
---MadMax  
Hey Squall and Kaitou!!! Well, I want to first start off by saying how sad that a SeeD like   
you could be captured by a mere fangirl. (no offense Kai) With a WATER gun fer chrissakes.   
Anyhoo, *shugs*, now since you're stuck here, I'll ask my questions.   
1. If you could be rewarded unlimited amounts of money, and you HAD TO pick one choice out   
of these options; which one would you pick and why...  
a) make out with Seifer, Zell, Irvine, Nida, or Cid...  
b)orgy with Rinoa and Quistis  
c)Spend 2 years on a deserted island with Seifer, with having to seek for shelter, food, and water.   
d) Quit SeeD  
e) Marry Selphine   
f) Live forever with Laguna, with NO visitors  
g) Marry Kaitou  
(AN: I put that in myself....^^;;)  
2. Exactly when and how did you know for certain that Laguna was your father? (details plz)   
3. If you could escape and had the choice to kill Kaitou would you do it and how??  
ANSWER EACH QUESTION ACCURATELY!!!   
p.s. My vote is for Squall...Let's all hope you escape soon.  
-----------------------------  
  
Kaitou: MWHAHAHAHAHAAA!! SWEET REVENGE!!  
  
Squall: .........................................  
  
Kaitou: But anyway--who are you calling a MERE FANGIRL?? I'll let you know that I am a full-fleged  
Theif!!! And not to mention, I DID kidnap Squall after all!!! ^^ Just kidding.   
  
Squall: ......Marry.....Kaitou.....?  
  
Kaitou: If you say G, I'll kill you.  
  
Squall: Urg, B would be nice. *purrs*  
  
Kaitou: ........*turns to audience* I am sitting next to a perverted, gunblade-using, squirrel-killing freak.  
  
Squall: HEY!! Just because I'm a SeeD doesn't mean I have to stop being a full-flege GUY!!  
  
Kaitou: ..........Thank you for telling me that.  
  
Squall: Laguna is my father because............you can ask anybody else. It's too long of an answer  
and I'm too lazy to type a lot now..........  
  
Kaitou: .........  
  
Squall: If I had a chance to escape and kill Kaitou.....  
  
Kaitou: .........................*does hand-motion*  
  
Squall: ........*grins*...................Um, I can't.  
  
Kaitou: *pretends to be shocked* But WHY???  
  
Squall: Because *gets dramatic* I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Kaitou: OMG, SQUALL!! I LOVE YOU TOO!   
  
Squall: YEAH, LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER AND HAVE 20 KIDS!!  
  
Kaitou: *suddenly falls out of her chair in laughter* HAHAHAAAAA!! THAT WAS FUNNY!!!  
  
Squall: Yeah, that WAS!! Mwhahahahaaaa!! ^^ I'm so glad I thought I that myself....  
  
Kaitou: Oooooh, I hope all you girls aren't mad!! ^^;; It was a joke!!!   
  
Squall: yeah, like I'd run away and marry....HER.  
  
Kaitou: What, think you're too good for a theif, Rambo?? YPE THE APE is next,  
  
---YPE THE APE  
This is a great fic, but- could you NOT add yourself in it?  
It's okay to give Squall questions, kinda like a moderator, but when you immerse yourself...  
It's just weird, yo.  
-------------  
  
Kaitou: .........................  
  
Squall: So true.  
  
Kaitou: ...................................................................  
  
Squall: Well, guess you're no longer popular with the crowd. *snickers* See you on the other side, Theif.  
  
Kaitou: Um, I'm really sorry if you don't like my rambling but...........I guess, if you want me too.   
Well, let's have a new thing now!! Whoever doesn't want me to narrate this ficcy, just say so in  
the reviews!! ^^ ..................  
  
Squall: YES.  
  
---Fire and Ice Monkey  
you said you were only going to post one queston things, so Yep! Oh yea, your tory is funny...   
good job! the only thing I wanted to ask was could ou read my poems? if you can thanks! oh yea! I   
was able to kidnap one of my characters! 12(wait no 11 because you have squall... darn) and sorry...   
butI votefor squall... hes really hot! and he mightbe able to helpl me kidnap zell and seifer... sorry Kaitou  
----------  
  
Squall: YES!! ANOTHER ON MY SIDE!!!  
  
Kaitou: Well, I guess it was ok. She did say that my rambling was funny. She's one in a million......  
like all my other theif friends out there!! Hi!! ^^  
  
Squall: Emphasis on the "million".  
  
Kaitou: SHUT UP! *whacks him with a piece of cardboard* ^^ Monkey, I'd LOVE read you poems!!   
I already DID anyway!! ^^ Squall's Girl is here!!  
  
---Squall's Girl  
I'm back, I have more questions  
1.what do you love more, your gunblade or Rinoa?  
2.Do you really love Rinoa? I mean come on, all she does is call you meanie,   
she ditched you in the middle of a dance, threw you agianst a wall in space and   
I must say that looked like it hurt, almost got you killed countless times, and made   
you go through a living hell. Is she really worth it *tears build up* do you love her that much?  
3.this one's for Kaitou, you love anime too?!?! Cool which one is your favorite?  
As for the votes  
Squall, I'll always be your fan and no one elses! I'll always be loyal to you. Sorry Kaitou I   
give you a lot of credit for kidnapping Squall but I love him too much to just betray him.  
--------------------------------  
  
Squall: Hm, gunblade or Rinoa......I'd have to say Rinoa. She's a lot warmer than a gunblade.  
^^;; Um, I'm like most guys: I like girls who can beat me up. *looks at Kaitou*  
  
Kaitou: What?  
  
Squall: But Kaitou is an exception.  
  
Kaitou: WHY YOU LITTLE-- *throws bricks on him*  
  
Squall: OW!! Alright, alright!!   
  
Kaitou: Stupid guys. Yes, I LOVE ANIME. My favorites? I have lots. Um, I liiiiike:  
  
Escaflowne  
CardCaptor Sakura  
Slayers  
Ranma 1/2  
Inuyasha   
Magic Knights Rayearth  
Kenshin  
and lots more I forgot to list here...........  
  
Squall: Dear Squall Girl, thank you for being so loyal to me and not throwing bricks at me unlike  
some OTHER girl we all know.....  
  
Kaitou: *picks up a brick and whacks Squall with it on his crotch*   
  
Squall: *winces* *in a small and creaky voice* Ow.   
  
Kaitou: ..........Zulu!! HI!!!! ^^  
  
---Zulu  
Hi Kaitou!!!! Hi Sqallypoo!!!!!!!(again) Um...who do you like better, the Hives or the Vines   
cuz I made a bet w/ a friend of mine and I bet that more people like the Hives(that question's   
for both of ya!!!)oh...and...I vote for Kaitou(Sorry Squallypoo!!!!!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
---------------  
  
Squall: I like Hives cause when I think I them, I think of honey.......*grins in a perverted way*  
  
Kaitou: OMG!!! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU SQUALL?? DID I KIDNAP IRVINE   
BY ACCIDENT???  
  
Squall: No. I'm just like this cause I've spent 5 days alone, strapped to a chair with duct taoe with  
a girl.  
  
Kaitou: .........^^ YAY!!! SHE VOTED FOR ME!!!!!  
  
Squall: WHAT??? NOOOOOO!! HOW CAN THIS BE???? WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLE SEE  
IN THIS *points to Kaitou* TOMBOYISH BITCH?!?!?!  
  
Kaitou: EXCUSE ME??? I'm PROUD to be a tomboy!!!!  
  
Squall: Great. SOMEthing you could be proud of.  
  
Kaitou: Geesh, I only got one and a half votes!! You got like THREE!!!  
  
Squall: So?  
  
Kaitou: ARGH.........*picks up a brick* *turns to the audience* Girls, I   
seriously don't recommend that you do this at home unless you have a certified  
Theif at home to watch you.  
  
Squall: ........What are you doing to that brick?  
  
Kaitou: Oh, I'm just making it hotter...  
  
Squall: *gulps* How hot?  
  
Kaitou: Precisely about 5oo degrees.  
  
Squall: ............................................................................................  
  
Kaitou: *turns to audience* ^^ Bye for now. And keep voting!!!!!!! ^^ Don't worry, I won't be mad  
if you choose this loner over there. But remeber to tell me WHY you voted for who, okay??  
Oh, and remember to tell me whether or not you still want me to actually "BE" in this fic or not...^^;;  
Oooooohhhhh, Squuuuaaaaalllllyyyyy.......come here for a sec.....  
  
Squall: .....................................................  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Well, I sure like this chappy better than the last one....this one's funnier!!! ^^ 


	6. Expected?

Hiyee!! ^^ Wow. This was a long time, huh? Wow!! 84 REVIEWS?!?! This is great!!  
Well, you can tell why this took me some time. @@;; PLEASE READ AND REVIEW  
MY OTHER STORIES!!! PLEASE!!! I'M DESPARATE!!!!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Chapter 6: Expected?  
  
Author: Kaitou /Sk8ter Gurl  
  
Disclaimer: FFVIII does not belong to me.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Squall: ...............  
  
Kaitou: Look. Squall, this isn't working.   
  
Squall: Oh, I realized that a LONG time ago.  
  
Kaitou: WILL YOU JUST LET ME FINSIH? Anyway, I'm............I....  
Well, I want to say that I'm....sorry, for throwing stuff at you and duct  
taping you to a chair and hitting you on the head with.........stuff.  
  
Squall: ...............................................................  
  
Kaitou: ......So, I just want to let you know that. Do you forgive me?  
I promise I'll be nice to you!!! ^^ Thief's Honor!!  
  
Squall: ......................................................................  
  
Kaitou: ......................Squall?  
  
Squall: .........................................Whatever.  
  
Kaitou: *snifs a little and runs to Squall* THANKS!!! *starts to hug him*  
  
Squall: .....C-can't........b-br-breathe.........  
  
Kaitou: Huh? ^^;; Oopsie!! Anyway, Redrum's got something to say!!  
  
---Redrum  
  
Don't have any question, but my vote is on Squall with who has more fans.  
Though I don't really like your version of him, I do like him as a whole. And  
when you do have 'squall' answering questions, it's just you answering them.  
It should be as though the real Squall is. And I don't think he would act like  
that.  
----------------  
  
Squall: ......You voted for me..........  
  
Kaitou: ..........  
  
Squall: .....Yet you DON'T like ME.....  
  
Kaitou: Um, she said that she likes YOU as YOU. She just doesn't like YOU   
in HERE.  
  
Squall: ........................And the difference is?  
  
Kaitou: *sighs* Nevermind. Anyway, ^^;; I'm REALLY sorry that you don't like  
Squall in HERE........ Just imagine him acting like he WAS trapped with ME,  
ok? And well, I imagined him in this position and the Squall-in-HERE was  
born!! Um, I'm really sorry, ok? ^^;; Sorry!!!  
  
Squall: Uhhh............I AM in this position.  
  
Kaitou: Stefani Teee has got something to say!!  
  
---Stefani Teee  
Kaitou, hi! And Squall... hun, by the Goddess, how do you ALWAYS end up in  
these situations? First having Irvine convince you into taking Rinoa to a strip  
bar on your first date, then 'accidentally' shoving a chopstick down Seifer's  
throat, when you ran into him in a Chinese restaurant... getting duck-taped to  
a chair?   
Anyway, what's YOUR favorite anime? (Not counting the ones that Kaitou  
forces you to watch). Oh and lastly? Sorry Kaitou, you're a wicked author  
(read mine! read mine!) But Squall's been my honey all the way... I vote him!  
(Oh, and I vote you keep on rambling all you like, being just a mediator is  
dead boring, screw what YPE THE APE says about you. Knowing Squall, he'd  
refrain from touching the keyboard at all without you! Isn't that right, hun?  
-----------  
  
Kaitou: Whoa, whoa, WHOA. YOU took Rinoa to STRIP BAR for your FIRST  
DATE?  
  
Squall: *gasp* HOW DID SHE KNOW?!?!?!  
  
Kaitou: *stares intently at Squall for a couple of seconds* Uh, oh-kaaay....  
  
Squall: *curses Irvine under his breath* MY favorite anime? Final Fantasy  
the anime, duh! Bwhahaaa!! Thanks for voting for me!!!  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Thanks for voting me to keep on rambling!! ^^ Squall is so stubborn!!  
Squall wouldn't even LOOK at the screen!!! It took so many chain saws and  
ammunition and bricks.......  
  
Squall: LADY, you don't know the HALF of it. -_-;;  
  
Kaitou: Hecate's turn!! ^^  
  
---Hecate  
This is so cool! An Kaitou I like your ramblings,you keep Squall in line  
brilliantly (Well,Rinny's not there to do it!)Anyways,my questions...  
1.Have you got a British or American accent?(Nutty friend breathing down  
neck wants 2 know)  
2.Who gets more girls,you or Irvine?  
and 3.Do you where boxers under those incredibly tight leather pants or do  
you go commando*Grins*  
---------  
  
Squall: I'm too handsome to be duct tapped to a chair..........  
  
Kaitou: Hey, I DO keep him in line!! ^^ Right, Squall?? *hold up some  
dynamite*   
  
Squall: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT ANYMORE!!  
  
Kaitou: Hey, I didn't say I COULDN'T THREATEN you anymore....^-^  
  
Squall: ................................................................  
  
Kaitou: *lights the dynamite*   
  
Squall: I'll answer!! I'll answer!!!  
  
Kaitou: Good boy. *puts dynamite out*  
  
Squall: Accent? I have a Eurpean accent cause, well, I LOOK European,   
don't I? Um........I think *I* get more girls cause......well.......Kaitou   
kidnapped ME, not Irvine, which is a sure sign.  
  
Kaitou: ........  
  
Squall: .......Kaitou?  
  
Kaitou: What?  
  
Squall: .....What does "going commando" mean??  
  
Kaitou: ..................@@;;.................  
  
Squall: Well?   
  
Kaitou: *silently* SHIT. HOW THE FREAKIN HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO   
EXPLAIN "NORMALLY"??? Gotta be cool.......gotta be cool.......  
  
Squall: ???  
  
Kaitou: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................................  
  
Squall: ...................................  
  
Kaitou: Uh, you see........"going commando"......means..........well......you know  
when you......uhhh.......well........@@;;  
  
Squall: ......?  
  
Kaitou: Uhhh. *rushes it out* IT-MEANS-THAT-YOU-WEAR-YOUR-PANTS-  
WITHOUT-ANY-UNDERWEAR!!!!  
  
Squall: ..............................................................................  
  
Kaitou: .............................  
  
Squall: ........................................Do YOU go commando?  
  
Kaitou: ?!?!?! WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT TO ASK A GIRL???  
ARGH, nevermind. I don't want to know the answer.  
  
Squall: Of course not. That's cause I do.  
  
Kaitou: *throws him her death-glare* NO. Aika-Nao121 is next!!  
  
---Aika-Nao121  
Hiya Kaitou and Squally! Sorry Squall hun, but i vote for Kaitou!   
Why? because she is nice, a theif, and had guts kidnapping you! ^_^   
Without Kaitou this wouldn't be funny because Squall would be doing   
the dots.... and would always answer ''whatever'' ^_^. I got a questions   
for you thou Squall! What are your hobbies, and are you gonna marry Riona?!  
----------------  
  
Kaitou: !!!  
  
Squall: WHAT?? YOU CHOSE THAT INEXPERIANCED THIEF OVER THE  
MOST HANDSOMEST, TALENTENTED, AND COOLEST MAN IN THE  
WORLD????  
  
Kaitou: *throws a brick at Squall*  
  
Squall: OW!!  
  
Kaitou: You deserved that. ^^ THANK YOU!!! You've made me so happy!!  
  
Squall: WHATEVER.  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Music to my ears.  
  
Squall: I read as a hobby. Reading books like "How to Destroy Your Enemies"  
and "The Art of War" can really come in handy. *grins*  
  
Kaitou: ......@@;; Uh, ok.  
  
Squall: And about marrying Rinoa........... I already answered that.  
  
Kaitou: Trajik007 is here........^^  
  
---Trajik007  
I VOTE FOR KAITOU!!!!!! KAITOU KAITOU KAITOU!!!!!!I think thats four,   
there, now YOU have more Kaitou. AND SQUALL, UR A PERVERT (although   
I woulnt mind being Rinoa for like two days to hook up with you AND Seifer.)   
*gets a nice..............-ish smile on her face* Kaitou, I'll never vote for anyone   
again but YOU if you can kidnapp Seifer just for my question! (to Seifer is   
hes there: WHAT SHOE SIZE?????????Just to make sure on SIZE!!!tee hee   
hee hee hee hee) *continues laughing manically* Kaitou, if you kidnapp him for   
my question, (which I will anyway) I'll vote for you A MILLION TIMES!!!!!!!!!  
sorry Squish..........oops, Squab? Squall? SQUALL, THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
-----------------------  
  
Squall: WHAT???   
  
Kaitou: 0.0 WHOA.......uhh..........^-^ THANKS A LOT!!!! ^^;; (Thinking:  
Do I really deserve even one vote......?) Squall really is sort of a perv, huh?  
  
Squall: *starts to get all "out of line" and struggles in the duct tape*  
  
Kaitou: ??? Squall? *watches him start to RIP the duct tape* OMG!!!!  
  
Squall: *frees himself from the last of the duct tape* BWHAHAHAAAA!!  
FREE AT LAST!!!  
  
Kaitou: *gasp* (Thinking: All I could do was watch.......I was so surprised....)  
  
*ONE HOUR LATER*  
  
Kaitou: Squall!! How COULD you???  
  
Squall: Bwhahahaaaaa!!! How does it feel to be STRAPPED to a chair, eh???  
  
Kaitou: *currently duct tapped to the chair* BUT HOW???  
  
Squall: Uh........actually......I dunno....0.0.....but ANYWAY....... it is now  
YOUR job to answer the questions!!! THIS TIME, YOU CAN SEND  
IN ALL THE PERVERTED QUESTIONS YOU WANT TO ASK KAITOU!!!!  
  
Kaitou: WHAT?!?!?!?!  
  
Squall: Anyway, Dr. Oops wants to ask me something.........  
  
---Dr. Opps, I took out your spine by mistake   
I vote for Kaitou! Stay in the fic! Now for my questions.   
1) Before Kaitou kidnapped you *give Kaitou a high five* How many   
times a day did you bang Rinoa?  
2) If train 'A' leave Balamd at 60 mph at 6 a.m and train 'B' leaves   
Timber at 7 a.m. at 70 mph, how long will it take them to colide and kill   
everyone on them, so i can harvest their organ for my new super genetic creature?   
---------  
  
Squall: NOO!! Another vote gone for KAITOU!!!!  
  
Kaitou: ^^;; Thank you!!! I'm so happy today.........even though I'm strapped  
to a chair with duct tape and I'm in the company of a squirrel-killing-  
Herbal-Essance-using freak!!!  
  
Squall: HEY!! Anyway, first questions........  
  
Kaitou: Um, Doctor, I'd give you a high five too, if I wasn't strapped to a  
chair......^^;;  
  
Squall: ..........How many times........................do I...........  
  
Kaitou: .................................This is why I don't like perverted questions.  
  
Squall: WELL THAT'S TOO BAD!! Uh, I'd rather not answer this one though.  
@@;; Such a violation.........Second question.........WHO GIVES A DAMN?  
  
Kaitou: Squall!!! You have to answer! Actually you can't, be cause  
if you wanted to know the answer, you had to have the place where they will  
meet specifically to collide. Thus, without that vital piece of info, we cannot  
solve the equation.  
  
Squall: .......Uh, whatever you say. Phoenix Blade? Who's that?  
  
---Phoenix Blade  
Heeeeyy!! This is fun!!  
  
Q: What would you do if Rinoa leaves you for Seifer?   
What are you gonna say, do, how would ya feel??  
  
Ps: No offense...you're one of my fave virtual guys but...  
do you know you look like a girl?? I mean, with the earrings and stuff....  
  
Okie, I'm voting for Kaitou!! Sorry Squall!!  
-------  
  
Squall: WHAT?? Another vote for Kaitou????  
  
Kaitou: =^^= THANKIES!!! ^^;; Um, now for the questions....  
  
Squall: If Rinoa left me for Seifer I'd track them down and ask  
a director to tape our dramtic conversation and air it. Duh. The  
earring was supposed to be cool!!!  
  
Kaitou: *cracks up* So much for that.  
  
Squall: *picks up a brick* .........  
  
Kaitou: *glares at Squall* YOU. WOULDN'T. DARE.  
  
Squall: ..............................*slowly puts the brick down* ..............  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Good boy. See girls? If you just spend some time with a guy,  
he'll start to listen to you. ^^  
  
Squall: ....................................-_-......................I feel so.............different.  
  
Kaitou: Dragon Kunoichi is next!! ^^  
  
Squall: Hey, wasn't supposed to say that?!?  
  
Kaitou: You snooze, you lose.  
  
---Dragon Kunoichi  
Hi Kaitou and Squall !!! First off I vote for Squall cause you're really   
cool...and besides you're my favorite character out of any video game...  
and by the way I have a replica of your necklace! Ok, ok I'll get to my questions...  
  
1. I have to ask...why is your jacket too small? Did someone put it in a washing   
machine and wash it when it was dry clean only or something? I just have to know!  
  
2. Have you ever actually played ff8 (final fantasy 8 if anyone needs to know)   
and if you have what was your favorite place in the game?  
  
3. When you were a baby was your first word whatever?   
  
4. .....Can I borrow your gunblade? Pleaseeeeeee!!! I promise I'll bring it....  
(or an exact replica) back!   
  
p.s: You shouldn't be so mean to Squall, Kaitou! Ya got'ta admit it has to be  
annoying to be ducktaped to a chair...but then again if he wasn't ducktaped   
to a chair I guess I couldn't ask him any questions....well...here *hands Squall 50 bucks*   
that should make up for all the times I yelled at you when play'n ff8 ^_^!  
-------------  
  
Kaitou: See, not everybody hates you. You got a vote from her!!  
  
Squall: Ah-I-I never said that everybody hated me!!!  
  
Kaitou: Sure.  
  
Squall: ..................The jacket is small because it's part of my attire.  
Have I ever played VIII? Uh. I'm the hero in the game. Do the math.  
No, how did you know my first word??? Ahhh.........oh well. Can you borrow  
my gunblade? Uh, I dunno. IF you can HANDLE it......  
  
Kaitou: Kyaaa.....^^;; Don't you see, though? I AM imagining him strapped to a chair   
with duct tape!! That's why there is sucha thing called "ASK SQUALL"!!  
  
Squall: Hey, she gave me 50 dollars. Alri--HEY. YOU YELLED AT ME?!?!  
  
Kaitou: Kyahahaa.....^^;; Don't mind Mr. Ego over there.  
  
Squall: Fire and Ice Monkey--you either say something or go away.  
  
---fire and ice monkey  
Well, my questions are: did you two like my poems? and... what is your   
favorite animal between pandas, monkeys, cats or fish... oh yes... My vote   
you still be squall because... hes... so... hot.. BUT! hes gotten a bit nasty lately  
... so... I vote for Kaitou! and you should keep your self in the story... think of   
how boring it would be with just squll answerig questions with no humours[sp I know]   
deallys in between... (no offence squall..)  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: I really liked your poems!! Especially that one about losing someone you love!!   
That one was sad.........but really liked it!! ^^  
  
Squall: ......................................I like........................Cats. I don't know why, so don't ask. @@;;  
  
Kaitou: I like pandas!! So cuuuuuute......... =^^=  
  
Squall: *stares at Kaitou* Uh--are you SURE you didn't eat any of the duct tape? @@;;  
  
Kaitou: Uh.  
  
Squall: Anyway................I got a vote!!   
  
Kaitou: What? You voted for me too!!!   
  
Squall: .......So. Who is it?  
  
Kaitou: ....................I think it's me cuz she said "but" whe she mentioned your name.  
  
Squall: WHAT?!?! THE HORROR!!!  
  
Kaitou: Squall--the HORROR is having to spend time with YOU.  
  
Squall: Aw--that really hurt.  
  
Kaitou: That's not ALL that going to HURT after I get out of this chair.......  
  
Squall: ..........................  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Thanks for wanting me to stay in the story.....and I'm so glad that you  
like my ramblings.......You're part of the many few people who think that!! ^^  
  
Squall: Emphasis on the "few".  
  
Kaitou: *spits at him* Quiet.  
  
Squall: AHHH!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!  
  
Kaitou: Oh, stop with the melodrama. We all know that you aren;t THAT obsessed with your hair.  
  
Squall: ;_; My......beautiful...............................hair..........;_;  
  
Kaitou: @@;; Uh, on the other hand, maybe we're wrong. Anyway, Rand Al'Tor is next!! ^^  
  
---Rand Al'Tor (kim_biebaut@hotmail.com)   
Nah Kaitou, you stay, whatever doesn't kill Squall only makes him stronger.   
I'm afraid I'm still voting Squall though. So...  
  
1: Squall, the theory that Ultimecia is in fact Rinoa from the far future, among   
others supported by your visions when you were lost in time. Any thoughts on it?  
  
2: You seemed to be rather cool about the whole 'Seifer torturing you till you considered   
getting yourself killed' thing. SeeDs get training in that stuff or...? (token perv comment.   
I think I know WICH instructor would be in charge of torture resistance training)  
  
3: General Caraway, your potential father-in-law. What's your take on him?  
--------------------  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Thanks for wanting me to stay.......  
  
Squall: What do you mean "whatever doesn't kill Squall only makes him stronger"?!?!? DO YOU  
KNOW HOW TORTUROUS IT IS TO BE IN THE SAME *ATMOSPHERE* AS THIS--THIS--GIRL?!?!  
  
Kaitou: HEY.  
  
Squall: Oh well....................at least you voted for me. Uh, Rinoa IS Ultimecia?!?! Whoa. Never  
knew that.....  
  
Kaitou: Actually, Ultimecia only took CONTROL of Rinoa's BODY in the present. And in the future,  
Ultimecia has nothing to do with Rinoa.  
  
Squall: .......That second question...........it's not.....RIGHT.  
  
Kaitou: No, really? I JUST noticed that.  
  
Squall: ^^ That's ok though, cause from now on, perverted questions are always more than welcome!!  
  
Kaitou: I swear, there is something wrong with you........  
  
Squall: Nothing a couple of heroin shots can't fix. ^^  
  
Kaitou: ...................................  
  
Squall: General Caraway.....he seems to be very refined. But not polite. I guess he's ok, as long as  
once me and Rinoa get hitched, won't have to see him again. Ever.  
  
Kaitou: Rag Doll is next!!  
  
---Rag Doll  
Hi Squall, Hey Kaitou! *waves* I got even more questions for ya!   
1. Do you know why that big spot light thingy in Deling City looks like the Bat Singnal?  
2. Who do you think is more popular, You or Irvine? Explain.  
3. Do you beleive in chain letters?  
4. Are you supersticious?  
5. Ahhhh! What's behind you?!!  
6. Do you like Aerosmith? If so, what's your favorite song?  
7. Do you think I'm cute? ^_^'*blushes+giggles*  
8. Do you know how to swim?  
Sorry, Squall. I can't set you free. *cries* But I know Kaitou will set you free....eventually!   
1. Do you like Jackie Chan?  
2. What is your favorite cartoon?  
3. How are you doing? (I know that you aren't doin to good, but on a scale from one to ten.)  
4. Who do you hate more, Ultimecia, or...(foreboding music) the horror that is...Irvine?  
5. Did you ever sneak into a chick flick dressed as a girl so no one knew it was actually   
you, and find Irvine doing the same thing? (Just wondering, and make him answer, Kaitou, please.)  
6. What is your favorite breakfast cereal? Explain.  
That's about it, oh! One more...  
7. Do you like Eddie Izzard?   
Okay, I'm done...until next chapter! ^_^   
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
Squall: ...............The........................Bat.............Signal?  
  
Kaitou: ............................Well. You learn new things everyday.  
  
Squall: I think that I'M more popular cause........cause.....well I DO!! So there.  
I don't believe in chain letters. Once, I got one right before I went inside  
of the Fire Cavern with Quistis and I didn't do anything. Well, they editied this  
out in the game, but I accidentally pushed Quistis in the lava. @@;;  
  
Kaitou: @@;; Uh.   
  
Squall: No, I'm not supersticious. *turns around* There isn't anything behind me.....  
  
Kaitou: Uh, that woulb be ME, Squall.   
  
Squall: Oh. Well, anyway, I don't even know what Areosmith is so......and I don't know  
what you look like but you are cute, probably. Of course I know how to swim!!  
  
Kaitou: Since when?  
  
Squall: Since Seifer pushed me into the ocean when I was 7!! Duh.  
  
Kaitou: Oh.   
  
Squall: Jackie Chan? Well, he kicks butt so I guess so. My favorite cartoon is  
Sponge Bob Square Pants.....don't ask. What am I doing? Uh, looking at Kaitou's  
fine bod--  
  
Kaitou: WHAT?  
  
Squall: Uh--looking at Kaitou. Generally. No particualr place. At all. Just her.  
Uh--anyway, I think I hate Ultimecia more cuz she kills innocent people so.........  
I never sneaked into a chick flick!!  
  
Kaitou: But Irvine did.  
  
Squall: How do you know?  
  
Kaitou: Uh, remember when I said that Irvine started to stalk me? Well, I went  
to go see a movie and he followed me in.....@@;; It was very disturbing.  
  
Squall: ......................  
  
Kaitou: You were better off not knowing.  
  
Squall: Cereal? Hah!! Cereal is for the weak!!  
  
Kaitou: Hey!! I eat cereal!!  
  
Squall: I know.  
  
Kaitou: *throws him her death glare* ........  
  
Squall: I have no idea who Eddie Izzard is......@@;; Anyway, Kamikaze Misson is next.  
You either ask something or don't. We're all going to die, anyway..............  
  
---Kamikaze Mission  
yay!!! hey squally!!! hey Kaitou!!! i must say, i definitly vote 4 you, Kaitou. I mean,   
You did go thru all the trouble of kidnapping squall, and i really like this fic. Anywayz-   
Squall, exactly what kind of fur is that on your coat? me 'n my friends have a little bet   
goin. I say your a bunny murderer. you just seem that kind of person who would have a   
coat made from a helpless little bunny. No offense of course, i luv ya even if ya did kill a bunny!  
--------------  
  
Kaitou: Thanks for voting for me!!! ^^ Thanks for liking this fic!! Actually, THANK YOU ALL!!  
  
Squall: What kind of fur?  
  
Kaitou: It's a squirrel.  
  
Squall: A SQUIRREL?!?!  
  
Kaitou: Yeah. Good thing you agree with me Squall.   
  
Squall: A BUNNY MURDERER?!?!?  
  
Kaitou: *gasp* I never knew!!  
  
Squall: @@;; Uh. I think I'll go lie down now.............  
  
Kaitou: Whatever you want. Shiva (ShaLyn) is next. ^^  
  
---Shiva (ShaLyn)  
HI SQUALL^_^ I'm sorry you got kid napped:( Oh well... Any ways, my questions are.....  
  
1. If you could date any one in FF7, and FF10, who would they be?  
2. HOW can you wear THAT much leather!?  
3. who do you think you take after more, Raine or Laguna?  
4. Who's you best friend Zell, or Irvine?  
5. If you could, would you come to me? I'm not annoying, and I'll give you   
ANYTHIING you want!^_^  
Oh, and I vote for Squall^.^ See-Ya!  
  
Shiva  
A.K.A ShaLyn  
--------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kaitou: If I hadn't kidnapped him, you wouldn't be able to ask him these questions!!  
  
Squall: I know. If I could date anyone from FFVII or FFX.......I'd choose Aeris,  
cause she's a bit like Rinoa........and I'd pick Lulu and Yuna and Rikku from FFX.  
Yes, I am SO greedy. ^^  
  
Kaitou: Uh. Ok. @@;;  
  
Squall: I like leather. Can;t you tell? I think I take more after Raine. If I took after Laguna,  
I don't think what I'd do. @@;; Zell and Irvine are my friends, but they both could get annoying  
when they want to. I can't come to you right now cause I'm currently trying to pry my foot out  
of a pot hole I'm stuck in right now.  
  
Kaitou: I TOLD you to watch out.  
  
Squall: Ahhh, shut up!! Yes, I got another vote!!!  
  
Kaitou: Good for you. Jin Kazama is next.  
  
---Jin Kazama  
HI Hi HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
HELLO SQUALL! AHHHH I HAVE SOOOOO MANY QUESTIONS FOR YOU!   
#1: Are you taken?  
#2: Did you and Rinoa ever get "Together" at the end of the game?  
#3: Do you like brunets?  
#4: Do you actually do anything in the Galbadian Garden?  
#5:If the oppertuinety ever arose would you play any of the FF games?  
#6: If so which one?  
  
Oh and I totally love your hair. God I would kill to get hilights like those!   
#7:Are they natraul?  
#8: Is Laguna really your father?  
#9: Is there any thing going on between you and Quitis?  
#11: If Laguna is your father how come you have differnt last names?  
BYE BYE!  
Jinnie  
------------------------------  
  
Squall: Yes, I'm taken. Yes to that, too. Brunets are fine. You basically  
do the same thing in Galbadia as you do in Balamb. I guess I'd like to play the games.  
All of them. I hate choosing. Of course my hair is natural! Only something like THIS  
can be 100% natural!!! Yes, Laguna is really my father. No, nothing is going  
on with me and Quistis. Well, I made up my last name cause I didn't know who my parents were.  
  
Kaitou: ^^ ErinErina is here to remind you something.......  
  
---ErinErina  
well squall (fixed looking at him in blush)Ehem... anyway, I want to   
remind you, you said that maybe you're busy to overthrown another hungrey- power   
or whatever sorceress it is... on the 3rd march!!!(chapter 3) You forgot Rinoa's birthday!!!   
But that's okay, girls are waiting for you here!!!  
  
That's it...  
----------------  
  
Squall: *gasp* Oops. Sorry, but I was too busy trying to escape.....  
  
Kaitou: Hey!!   
  
Squall: Anyway, Dark Raion is next.  
  
---Dark Raion  
Damn... I go on vacation for one week and I miss like three chapters... well, anyway...  
  
Kaitou: I'll make a deal with you, okay? You review one of my stories, I'll review   
one of yours. Also, I vote for Squall. Why, you ask? First off, Squall is my all time   
favorite fictional character. Second, you're just too damn mean. Dropping bricks on   
guys crotches... that's just evil, and I'm not even a guy. Okay, moving on...  
  
Squall: Is it just me, or do you also notice some strange inconsistencies in your personality   
throughout this fic, more than likey caused by the author? Who designed the female student   
uniforms for Garden, NORG or Cid? Either way it's rather disturbing, as those skirts are   
awfully short, no? Anyway, if you had a choice between being locked in a closet with no one   
to talk to but Laguna for the rest of eternity, or having to be duct tapped to a chair by a crazed   
fan girl and made to answer questions, also for the rest of eternity, which would you choose? If   
you knew that by passing that SeeD examine you would have to go through hell to save the world,   
would you still have wanted to pass? Democrat, Rebublican, or Liberal? Is it true they're re-releasing   
FF8 for PS2? What the hell is Kingdom Hearts? I've heard several people talking about it, but I don't know.   
Oh well, I guess I'm done for now. Sayonara... ~Dark Raion  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: It's a deal!! ^^ I'll try to read as soon as possible!! Sorry if you think that throwing bricks to guys  
is mean, but it was provoked. ^^;;  
  
Squall: Inconsistencies? Why yes. After being strapped to a chair with fuct tape for a whole week,   
I think I see the whole world in a different way now. *gets a faraway look on his face* Oh, hello air.   
Anyway, NORG and Cid didn't design it becuase they paid another person to. The skirts ARE short.....  
  
Kaitou: Yeah. And I had to actually WEAR one. @@;; It was quite uncomfortable, walking down a hall  
while guys are doing push-ups there......  
  
Squall: .............................Uh. Ok. I think I'd rather be with Laguna. At least I can tell him to shut up.  
  
Kaitou: Haha. I am not a crazed fan girl!! And he's not even duct tapped to a chair anymore either!!!  
He could escape for all I care, but he's STILL sticking around!! @@;;   
  
Squall: I think I still would've wanted to pass. Saving the world is "Cool". I think I'm Liberal. Yes,  
Square is re-making FFVIII for the PS2. Kingdom Hearts is a new game made by Square. It's  
sort of a mix between regular Square stuff and........yes, Disney.  
  
Kaitou: Vash's Girl is next!!  
  
---Vash's Girl  
Ello! It's Jessica and Vash here! (should change her penname to Vash's girl ^_^)   
Vash: Uh. . .Thanks.^_^o as long as you have donuts.  
Jessica: Trust me, I got plenty! ANYWHO! *clears throats* I vote for...for...for...*sniffs*   
SQUALL! Sorry, Kaitou, but it's true. Squallikins, I'll always love you! (after my bf, tho :D   
and NO it's not one of those 'infatuations.' this is actual love).   
Vash: Since I've never even played FF8 (seeing as how I'm from a weird part of the future..*got   
dragged back in time*) I vote for Kaitou. Sorry, Squall.   
Jessica: Oh, no offense, I don't think anyone's pointed this out or not yet, but you spell it 'thief.' ^_^o no offense!!!  
Vash: On to the questions!  
Jessica! Yes! *clears throat* me first!  
Vash: *pouts* fine.   
Jessica: Squall. :) Do. . .You wear boxers or briefs? (cause trust me I've heard some weird things   
with guys about both o.O;) What kind of shampoo do you use? Your hair is REALLY pretty! :D Hehehe. . .  
If you're in love with Rinoa, what do you see in her? Hmmm? :D Rinoa's cool. ^_^o Do you think Selphie's   
on crack? Or that it's actually her personality? Oh, and don't worry, me and Vash and the rest of us fans   
will get you out! *holds up special secret stuff* hehehe. . .  
Vash: My turn!!!! For Squall: Who are you? Do you have any donuts? Did you know I'm 131 years old?   
Heh heh. Heh. *coughs* For Kaitou: Yeah, Jess' right about that thief thing. No offenseeee! Neways. For  
Kaitou (again): Who are you? Do you ever watch Trigun? (That's my show!!! *maniac laugh from the series*   
hahaha! *sweatdrop*) If so, whooooose your favorite character? *winkwink* Do you find it offensive that people   
don't vote for you? Wait, that was kinda a stupid question, but ah, what the heck, feel free to answer anyway!   
*maniac laughter* Oh, yeah.   
Vash & Jessica: We want you to still narrate the story, Kaitou! And remember kids: This world is made of   
LOVE and PEACE!  
-----------------------  
  
Squall: ................."SQUALLIKINS"?  
  
Kaitou: .....................................Ok. That's just--SCARY.  
  
Squall: Uh. Ok.  
  
Kaitou: Oooh, I got a vote from Vash (whoever he is; as long as he doesn't stalk me)!! ^^ Glad you caught my  
mistake!! Thanks, too! I'll go change it now!  
  
Squall: Selphie is.......Selphie. There's something that keeps her running.....  
  
Kaitou: Like the Energizer Bunny?  
  
Squall: .............I think so. Who am I? Uh. Me. Gee, that was REALLY hard somehow. No, I don't have donuts,   
but I have coffee. No, I did not know that you were 131 years old. You age well.  
  
Kaitou: Huh? Question for me? Who am I? Uh. I'm a teenaged thief that kidnapped Squall. Yeah!! I love Trigun!!  
Who's my favorite character?!?! YOU, duh!! I think you're HOT!   
  
Squall: Uh-oh. Better run for cover Vash. She's an experianced kidnapper.  
  
Kaitou: Hahaha. ^^ Do I find it offensive? No, actually. I perfectly understand why they would want  
to vote for Squall. You see, Squall is the actual "video game" character. And me? I'm the author  
who just happened to kidnap him. I don't really care anyway. This is all just for fun!!!  
  
Squall: FUN? SO YOU DIDN'T KIDNAP ME BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS CUTE--OR HOT--OR--  
  
Kaitou: Uh. No comment.  
  
Squall: ......................................................  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, Ami-maxwell-chan is next!!!  
  
---Ami-maxwell-chan  
I vote for Kaitou on the condition that when she's finished with Squall-kun,   
she must ship him directly to me (preferably still duct taped to the chair) You're so SEXY Squall!!!  
Now for the questions:  
1)Is junctioning a GF like being schizophrenic?(I mean, can you hear the GF's voice   
in your head and stuff?)  
2)Why do you always rub your forehead? Do you need some tylenol? Or have you realized   
that you're surrounded by idiots and this fact frustrates/irritates you?  
3)I think someone already asked this question, but how does your gunblade work? Does the bullet   
go through the middle of the blade or down the side or what?!  
4)Who's your favorite anime character? (mine is Duo, no da! He's from Gundam Wing in case you   
didn't know. Which you probably don't, seeing as how all your time is preoccupied with answering these   
questions in order to escape your temporary state of servitude...O.o)  
5)Did you REALLY smile at Rinoa at the end of the game?! I think it was just a muscle spasm or a wince.   
Squall-sama doesn't smile, it'd give him wrinkles!! ^-^  
6)Who do you think pierced Link's ears while he was comatose for seven years in Ocarina of Time? Rauru?  
7)Is it ketchup or catsup?  
and finally...  
8)Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?  
Kaitou-chan!! I love Inuyasha, too!!! He's so kawaii!! (He's up there with you, Squall!!) You should duck tape him to a   
chair next. I'll vote for you again if you also send me him when you're through. *drools* so many bishounen...  
so little duck tape...^-^ Ja ne.  
----------------  
  
Kaitou: ^^;;  
  
Squall: Bwhahahaaa! Since I am no longer in the grasps of Kaitou, she can NOT ship me to you any longer!!!  
She is now MY hostage!! Bwhahahaaaa!!! Junctioning GFs aren't like that. They take up a space in your  
mind, but they don't talk to you. I've known that i've been surrounded by idiots ever since I was 10.  
-_-;; Uh. I already answered that question. My favorite anime character......Kenshin. He's got a  
cool sword. ^^ Yes, I really smiled at her. Now that you mentioned it, maybe I shouldn't smile that much anymore.  
.........I've never played Zelda. It's ketchup. Kamikaze piolets? What are those?  
  
Kaitou: You are SO right. So many guys, so little duct tape.........................................  
  
Squall: .............I pray for this Inuyasha.  
  
Kaitou: Hey! *gasp* Squall! Rinoa wrote to you!!!  
  
---Rinoa  
*bursts into the room and tackles Squall* SQUALL SEIFER TOUCHED MY BUTT AND   
WHEN I TOLD HIM TO STOP HE WOULDN'T! HE'S SUCH A MEANIE, ISN'T HE?!?!?  
*waves hi to Kaitou* Wow your clothes are so kewl!! *offers hand* I'm Rinoa, how are you?   
Have you get Squall tied up in Bondage? Squally and I did that once but Cid caught us and you   
should've seen Squallys face! iIt was as red as hyth! *laughs hysterically*  
  
Wooo.....you look kewl anyway...SQUALLY SEIFER TOUCHED MY BUTT!  
---------------  
  
Squall: WHAT?!?!?!  
  
Kaitou: *waves back* Hey, thanks!! You look very refined, yourself!! My name's Kaiou Rikku, but  
people call me Kaitou!!  
  
Squall: ...........................................  
  
Kaitou: .............................Squall.   
  
Squall: Don't ask. You're better off not knowing.  
  
Kaitou: Uh. Ok. TyrielLockheart is next.  
  
---TyrielLockheart  
Gun blade swinging maniac  
(Very menacing demonic voice)You are next in my show of terror,   
so be afraid, be very afraid. HA! HA! HA!*coughs alot* (Normal voice)  
Dammit, I lost my demon voice now.  
Any who, if you could go in the past to change one thing, which would it   
be?(except avoiding being captured by Kaitou.) I can prove that you ARE   
gay. Since after the whole Seifer thing in Timber, you go after him.   
Because both of you are men that proves. YOU ARE GAY!!!!!!!! So try and   
get out of this one. Ahem.(demonic voice again) YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE   
YOUR CAPTOR. HA! HA! HA! HA!  
--------------  
  
Squall: Hey, you sound a lot like Irvine in the first thing in the morning.   
If I could change the past......ah, yes. I'd change the fact that I never  
saw Irvine and Selphie making out in Cid's office. @@;;   
  
Kaitou: ....................Uhhhh........................Well, at least we know that they're getting along....  
  
Squall: ................Gay, huh? -_-;; Whatever you say.........  
  
Kaitou: Anyway, Enchantress Tsurai is next!!  
  
---Enchantress Tsurai  
This is so cool! *ahem* okay squall, uh...if you had a child and it was a boy what would you   
name him? and if it was a girl? which would you prefer? what *exactly* happend after you   
kissed rinoa at the end of the game? did you know i think you are soooooo hot looking? and....  
uh oooh if you wanted to wear a halloween costume what would you wear and why? and if you   
cant fall to sleep at night what do you do to help you to? do you have a favorite story? and last   
question what is your favorite television channel? uh...okay these questions were weird, but this   
is soooo cool! great job Kaitou-chan! (can i call you that?) i cant wait for squally to answer   
my questions!!!  
Ja! ^_^   
P.S.  
Imma read your otha fics to so dun' worry kaitou  
-----------------  
  
Squall: If I had a boy, I'd name him Leon. If it was a girl, I'd be Leona.   
  
Kaitou: -_-;; You are SO orginal, Squall, that it surprises me.  
  
Squall: Hey! I don't really mind if I got either a boy or a girl. Uh. I kissed Rinoa and we  
went on our first date the week after. Of course I know that I'm so hot looking!  
  
Kaitou: Oh, great. Now you got him started.   
  
Squall: First thing in the morning I always use this special type of gel--onlly THAT gel will  
do though because all the other gels stick on my hair and it's so gross and--  
  
*one hour later*  
  
Kaitou: .............Squall. Shut up.  
  
Squall: Awww, but I was getting to my face creams!!  
  
Kaitou: Squall--I DON'T CARE. okay??? Just answer the rest of these questionss!!  
  
Squall: Aw, ok. I'd go as myself and surprise all of my fans. ^^ I always go to sleep  
at night...... A favorite story? Like what? I like the food channel............Foooooood.....  
  
Kaitou: Uhhh.......stop staring at the peaches over there. You're scaring those kids away.  
  
Squall: Oh. Oops.  
  
Kaitou: Thanks for reading my fics!!! ^^ I'm so happy now!!!  
  
Squall: Arathorn is next.  
  
---Arathorn   
Nwahah vote for Squall. Neh funniest of all but a bit long :D  
----------------  
  
Squall: Another vote, another day......  
  
Kaitou: That's backwards, Squall.  
  
Squall: Whatever. Kimi Valkyrie...............  
  
--Kimi Valkyrie  
Hey Kaitou! You've got me on your side! Another question for Squall.  
1) Are you in love with Lulu from FFX and cheating on Rinoa for that?  
2) Kaitou, do me a favor and kick Squall's sorry @$$ for us! Your ever loving fans.  
3) Squall, what is it with you and FFX?   
4) Rikku, Yuna and Lulu rocks! What do you think?  
  
Hey, Squall, if I had the chance I'll get my sword and start hitting you. So beware!  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: ^^ Hey, thanks!! Let's all hope that I escape soon!!  
  
Squall: Um. I'm not in love with Lulu. I just like the way she dresses. = P  
  
Kaitou: Squall, come here for a sec.  
  
Squall: *walks over*  
  
Kaitou: OMG!! IT'S LAGUNA!!  
  
Squall: WHAT?!?! WHERE?!?! *turns around*  
  
Kaitou: *kicks him*   
  
Squall: ARGH!! Owww!! What was that for?!?!?  
  
Kaitou: Various reasons.  
  
Squall: .................I like all the Fianl Fantasies. ^^ Me and all the guys get along fine.  
Especially the girls. ^^ Uh. Let's hiope that you don't find your sword for a very, VERY long time. -_-;;  
  
Kaitou: .............  
  
Squall: Oh, yes, remember people!! KAITOU IS NOW MY HOSTAGE!! YOU ALL ARE NOW PERMITTED  
TO SEND IN ALL THE MOST PERVERTED QUESTIONS EITHER TO ME OR KAITOU AS LONG AS YOU WISH!!  
ASK ANYTHING!! ^^ BWHAHAHAHAAAAA!!  
  
Kaitou: Guys--get me outta here!!!!  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	7. The Beginning

Readers, this is a really crappy chapter, but hell, it's the last of "Ask Squall". Crappy. So crappy. Don't worry, there is a sequel.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
Kaitou: "Squall--if I could, I'd kick your ass! YOU DID NOT HAVE TO BREAK MY EASY BAKE OVEN!!!!  
  
Squall: "HEY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND I WAS HUNGRY!! Whaddya gonna do anyways? Kick me!?"  
  
---Zero  
*Sneaks up behind them and hands his beamsaber to Kaitou, Kicks Squall in the ass and teleports away before he can see who did it.*  
--------------  
  
Squall: "AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! ALRIGHT, WHO DID THAT!?!?!"  
  
Kaitou: "Heeeey! I got a cool beamsaber now!! Thanks a lot! *blows a kiss to ya* Whoosh!!! WHOOSH!! *gets all weird* May Yevon be with you!"  
  
Squall: @@;; "Uh........right."  
  
---Dark Raion  
I thought this would never be updated. Anyway... *laughs hysterically and claps* Finally!   
Someone put Kaitou in her place.To Kaitou: No offense, but you were really mean. Normally,   
I woudn't care, but you were being mean to my idol, so that's another story. There are other,   
more efficient ways of dealing with a hostage, anyway.To Squall: I'm not going to send any   
perverted questions to Kaitou, becasue frankly, I don't want to know. I don't need those kind   
of nightmares. But I do have some questions.  
1. Do you believe in reincarnation? Or purgatory? Or any of that other stuff...  
2. Was Seifer born an ass-hole is there an actual reason for it?  
3. If Ultimecia was able to travel to your time because of a machine Dr. Odine created, why   
didn't you just have that machine destroyed so it wouldn't exist in the future and spare   
yourselves the whole time compression deal?  
4. So they are remaking FFVIII for PS2. I better start saving now then... games are so   
expensive these days. And why Disney? Out of all the other entertainment corperations they   
could've colaberated with?  
5. You always seem so calm, but don't you ever get so pissed off that you just feel like reaching   
out and strangling someone?  
6. Alright, last one... Even though SOME people (who's name I won't mention out of respect)   
don't like peircings, I think the earring's cool. Ever considered any other peircings? And this   
is NOT meant to be a perverted question. 'Till the next chapter... ~Dark Raion   
--------------------  
  
Kaitou: ^^;; "Uhm, I can't really be mean to Squall anymore so..........I think you'll like this chapter more."  
  
Squall: "Reincarnation? Look, after you see your girlfriend being possesssed by a sorceress from the future; you start to believe in everything. Seifer wasn't born an ass-hole. I think he just tries to act like one because he probably doesn't think much of himself. Maybe he's just trying to hide a weak character. Well, you can figure it out yourself. Well, I didn't know where the time compression machine was. Wait, wasn't Ultimecia using Ellone, though? @@;; I'm confused now. Actually, they won't be remaking FFVIII on PS2. It was just a rumor....."  
  
Kaitou: "Yeah. ^^;; Sorry!!! I thought it was true." @@;;  
  
Squall: "Don't I ever feel pissed off? Wow, I guess you didn't see the part where I tried to strangle Zell and Irvine in the third disc. Another ear piercing? Hmm....I hadn't thought of it yet. Maybe, if people like it that much.........."  
  
----Savae  
This fic is hilarious! I really like how you put yourself into the plot, giving it a bit more depth and a more 'down-to-earth' feel.  
  
My only critism is that you need to make Squall a bit more like Squall. He has to be more of a lone-wolf type, I think, and he should talk a bit more about Garden.  
  
Besides that, it's great!  
----------------  
  
Kaitou: "Squall.........a bit more like........Squall?"  
  
Squall: "The Garden..............I haven't been there for so long................I AM a lonewolf!!! I just talk a lot now cuz I'm losing my mind!!!!!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Gee Squall, when did you figure THAT out?"  
  
---Kid Majere  
Um, like, I vote for Kaitou, cuz thieves do stick together!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!! And, sorry, Squall. And, like, I guess I've got a question for Squall-WHEN ARE YA GONNA KILL SEIFER!? Even if he is, like, the hottest guy in the game..er, next to you, of course. -sweatdrop- And, do you thikn Rinoa is extremely annoying? Cuz if ya do, I HATE YA!! She's my fave character. Hehe. cya!  
--------------  
  
Kaitou: "OMG!! ^^ See Squall! Thieves DO stick together!!!"  
  
Squall: "Ahh--stop cheering like a Girl Scout will you?! I can't really KILL Seifer...........I mean, a lot of fans of his will probably kill ME...and we all know that I'm just too hot to die."  
  
---Shiva (ShaLyn)  
Awwww... are you sure you can't come to me? Wellll...what if I call Tidus(FFX), Cloud(FFVII), Auron(FFX), and Vincent(FFVII) to help you escape? Anyway, my questions are...  
  
1. How can you kill poor Fujin two times?*I sugest you give a positive awnser, Fujin&Raijin are standing right next to me^^*  
2. When did you start wearing leather, and how much does it cost?  
3. If you could, would you have all your friends come move to Utah and live with me? You can take the Raganrok...  
4. Are you SURE your not druged? You kind of ooc in the other chapter.  
5. Who are your friends in the other Final Fantasys?  
6. Where does all the music come from in the games!?  
7. What's you favorite Video game?  
8. What's your favorite move?  
9. Can you give me Zells&Seifers phone#? ^^;And how about Selphie's, nad Quitsy's? *I want to ask THEM some questions. Heheheheh...*  
10. How is Selphie so hyper! SERIOSLY!  
well, I'm all out right now, see ya in the next chappie!^_^  
  
Shiva  
A.K.A ShaLyn  
-----------------  
  
Squall: "I can kill him anytime cuz he's just a piece of cardboard. Couldn't you tell? I started wearing leather when I entered the Garden and it costed me 100000 Gil. Lousy salesman......."  
  
Kaitou: "WHOA. 100000 GIL?!?!? That's enough to get me full enrollment into the Garden!!!!  
  
Squall: "Yes. I know. Sorry I can't go to Utah right now, I'm having too much fun looking at Kaitou struggle thorugh her bonds."   
  
Kaitou: "You and your sick mind."  
  
Squall: "Thank you. No, Kaitou did not drug me, she simply sprayed me with a small water gun you can buy at your nearest 99 cent store. Yes, that really green, cheap one in the corner."  
  
Kaitou: "I got it for 10 cents!! Isn't that COOL?!?!"  
  
Squall: "Kaitou--WHEN YOU CAPTURED ME, DID YOU HAVE TO DO SO SO INDIGNENTLY?!?!"  
  
Kaitou: "Uh, yeah."  
  
Squall: "WHY?!?!?"  
  
Kaitou: "Uhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm....................because...........................it was.............FUN.............?"  
  
Squall: "......i feel...........so................................special."  
  
Kaitou: "Yup yup yup. You're worth a whole 10 cents!"  
  
Squall: "............"  
  
---TyrielLockheart  
Ya I'm back, I forgot to ask something. Kaitou could you torch Squall for being a......... first class idiot, platnum class slaquer and for loving Rinoa over Quistis.  
-------  
  
Squall: "Uh, Kaitou, what are you going to do with that.............torch?"  
  
Kaitou: "What? Oh, you mean this? Come over and I'll show you."  
  
Squall: *goes over to her cautiously*  
  
(But not cautiously ENOUGH)  
  
Kaitou: "Heh heh. SUCKER."  
  
*torches Squall*  
  
Squall: "AHHHH!! IT BURNS!!!!"  
  
Kaitou: *sighs* "I love being such a double crosser."  
  
---Kimi Valkyrie  
Kimi again! I have my sword and can hit you now! So listen up! I've got MORE questions.  
1) I took a stupid personality test on which FFX character I was and the results were tied with Rikku and Yuna, so I'm both! Heeeheehee! Will you go out with me then because I am both Rikku and Yuna?  
  
*Kimi swings her sword around and jumps beside Squall, slashes his hair and misses because Squall ducked.*  
  
2) If you had the chance, would you do "it" with Seifer or Zell? (I had to throw in a yaoi question.)  
  
aaaand 3) Will you release Kaitou? Or I'll do it!  
  
* Kimi Valkyrie jumps again, slashing through Kaitou's bonds, and returning back to the audience.*  
---------  
  
Squall: "Nooo!! More people who want ot hurt me!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Well, the more the merrier they say."  
  
Squall: "Easy for you to say--you're not the one who's being chased by an angry mob carrying swords, torches, and toilet paper. *shudders* Toilet paper...the HORROR I tell you."  
  
Kaitou: *grins* "I know. Isn't it great?"  
  
Squall: "Anyway--you're both Rikku and Yuna? Whoa.......I might date you if you promise not to hit me with your sword......"  
  
*Kimi swings her sword around and jumps beside Squall, slashes his hair and misses because Squall ducked.*  
  
Kaitou: "Whoa, I want a sword too!!! I lost my beamsaber......how sad."  
  
Squall: "MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Squall--there's this thing about HAIR--it grows BACK. Thought I'd mention that."  
  
Squall: "..................."  
  
Kaitou: "Yeah, I thought so."  
  
Squall: "No, I will NOT release Kaitou!!  
  
* Kimi Valkyrie jumps again, slashing through Kaitou's bonds, and returning back to the audience.*  
  
Kaitou: "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!! I'M FREE!!!!! I'M--I'm.............................not..............................................................free."  
  
Squall: "Bwhahahaa!! I've reinforced the duct tape with rope!!! Yes, I know I am smart."  
  
---litobluanjel (HighOnRice89@hotmail.com)  
Squall...let me say one thing to you...YOU'RE SICK!!! *glares* and because of that, i side with Kaitou! *smiles at her* *resumes glaring at Squall* Gawd...you're pathetic! I can't believe I used to think that you were cute! You repulse me now...you...you...you evil perverted idiot! *raises hand to smack him* *is held back by her invisible monkeys* Argh...you're lucky my monkeys believe in peace... *growls*  
  
Okay, my questions:  
1. What is it exactly that makes you hate Seifer so much? I never understood that...  
  
2. And you know when the game is starting out, and you see that beginning intro thingy with Liberi Fatali playing in the background and you're making that promise to Rinoa? How is that possible if you didn't even know her then?  
  
I'm a girl of questions and I can go on and on about them if only my monkeys weren't kicking me off... *sighs* oh well. Sayonara to Kaitou! And I hope you get out of this! Smack him for me will you? Thanks!! ^.^  
--------------------  
  
Squall: "I am NOT pathetic!! I am just merely deillusional because I've been tapped to a chair for weeks by a thief who squirted me with a water gun she bought at the local 99 cent store."  
  
Kaitou: *goes crazy* "WHAT?!? You have MONKYS?!?!?! LET ME PET THEM!! I WANNA PET A MONKEY!! MONEKY-MONKEY-MONKEY-MONEKY!!!"  
  
Squall: "Uh....ok. Kaitou--you SCARE me more and more everyday, you know that? Wait--I say that to you EVERYday"  
  
Kaitou: "Heh, it's my job."  
  
Squall: "..............."  
  
---Vash's Girl  
Heyo! We're back!  
Jessica: Sorry 'bout last time Squall. I was like on some kinda sugar high. Lol, no offense meant by 'Squallikins.' Anyways. . .  
Vash: Ya know. . .Squall, you're kinda cold. Lighteeeeeen up!!!   
Jessica: Anyway. . .*coughs* Questions questions questions!  
1). If you could be any person off FF8 (besides yourself) who would you be?   
2). Ever seen Star Wars?   
3). Do you still resent the fact that Seifer gave you that scar on your nose?   
4). Was becoming a SeeD particularly hard for you (before the prerequiste).   
5). What's your favorite animal?   
6). Haha, what's your religion? Hyne, God, what?   
Oh, everyone, just to let you know--Squall's jacket is like that because it is a Bomb jacket. Meaning, that it's *supposed* to be that short. *grins* I hoped that answered everyone's question. And the fur on his jacket probably isn't real--Squall, you just don't seem the type to just go out there and kill things if you don't have to.   
Vash: Weeeeeeee. Kaitou!  
1). *eyes widen* You like Trigun!? Reallllyy? You think I'm hot? Neato. I'm flattered. That's a better comment than Insurance Girl ever gave me. . .*sniffs a little* Meryle. . .  
Jessica: Vash. Focus.  
Vash: Uh. . .*coughs* Right!  
2). Was it difficult sneaking into BG? (Balamb Garden)   
3). If you had a problem with the skirts, just take it up with Squall and Cid (heh heh, I know alllll about that game now. Played it myself). File complaints. Others will complain. Ect, ect. In the end, the two will be forced to change the uniform or risk losing all the cadets and SeeDs. :)   
Vash: Questions for Squall.   
1). Was it scary out in space?   
2). Why didn't you hug Rinoa when she asked you to on the Ragnorak? That was kinda rude not to! *eyes shine* A woman should be treated with utmost respect! I mean, look at how you're treating Kaitou--  
Jessica: -_-o Vash. Focus.  
Vash: *coughs* Right!  
3). Are you sarcastic because deep down you're alllll alone? Even with Rinoa there by your side?   
4). Have you ever taken anger management classes?   
5). Ever thought dirty at least once about that whip of Quistis'?   
6). Do you feel ashamed about how you're treating Kaitou?   
7). Are you embarrassed that Laguna Loire is your father?   
8). What caused you and Seifer to become rivals when you were little?   
9). Does Irvine get on your nerves?   
10). " " Zell " " " " "?   
Vash & Jessica: Well, thankkkks! Remember: LOVE and PEACE!   
-------------  
  
Squall: "That's ok about the Squallikins. It's just that Kaitou kept calling to me like that.....in public. I would be......Cid. I will RUN SeeD!! Yes, I've heard of Star Wars. I don't really resent Seifer. I mean, I gave him a scar, too. Heh heh. Becoming a SeeD is not hard as long as you know what your goals are. My favorite animal? Dogs....after having Angelo tag along with us for so long. I don't have a religion......if I was supposed to.........you could ask the creators."  
  
Kaitou: "Questions for ME?? Cool!"  
  
Squall: "Yes, I know. People would normally avoid you after getting to you for the first couple of minutes."  
  
Kaitou: "Sneaking into BG? The security was pretty tight. I didn't really sneak in..........well, I just got an extra SeeD uniform from the girl who works at the library. ^^ She's nice. But you see, I didn't attend the CLASSES THERE, I JUST WENT IN THERE AND WALKED AROUND (cautiously, of course) until I found Squall! I hate wearing any sort of dresses/skirts!!! -_- I did file a complaint, but I didn't recieve any answers yet..............."  
  
Squall: "Space wasn't scary. It was cool. I really wanted to float around though.....but the producers wouldn't let me. Cheap bastards."  
  
Kaitou: "Uh, right."  
  
Squall: "Kaitou is NOT a girl--she's NOT at the least LADY-LIKE in ANY WAY. It's hard to see her as a girl sometimes."  
  
Kaitou: "Well EXCUSE ME. Look who's TOO IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEMINENE SIDE."  
  
Squall: "So I like wearing aprons and I'm afriad of apple juice. Sue me. I'm sarcastic because I am. It's the only way in which I can sustain myself in the presence of this--girl."  
  
Kaitou: "..."  
  
Squall: "I've been in an anger manegment class before. I ended up destroying it. It was fun. If I thought about dirty stuff containing Quistis, why should I tell you? I need privacy! Ashamed of how I treat Kaitou? Why should I? I haven't injured her in any way!!! Laguna is a very........interesting man, but he talks.....a bit too much. I'm not sure what happened between me and Seifer. It seemed so long ago. Maybe it was I who picked on him first. I don't know. Irvine................Zell.....................I take out all my anger on punching bags. I buy new ones every other day."  
  
---windyleaves683   
Squall- Would you throw a brick for threatening you with dynamite? If you could play pranks on everyone that know what would you do?   
P.S. I vote for you Squall   
-------------  
  
Squall: "I ran out of bricks.........curse you, Kaitou for using them all. A prank........I'd put love letters in all of their lockers (you know, anonymous) and see their reaction."  
  
Kaitou: "How sad. You know what I would do? I'm gonna call every guy I know and tell him that I LOVE HIM. After that, I hang up and call him again 10 seconds later and tell him it was all a joke. Hehehee. Actualy, I really did that last year. Can't wait for this year!!"  
  
Squall: "..................................."  
  
--- Spork (simbasassyjakepolly@hotmail.com)   
Hey, I forgot to ask a question earlier in the review thing.  
Squall, will you be my llama? I want a llama so bad it is killing me and I am willing to take anybody. You can live in the backyard and you can eat hay and stuff or whatever llama's eat. Whatdaya say? Oh yeah and I vote for Squall. Because I love him! Sorry Kaitou. BYE!!!  
----------------  
  
Squall: "A........llama."  
  
Kaitou: "HEY!! NO FAIR!! I WANT A LLAMA TOO!!!!"  
  
Squall: "Sorry, but I don't like hay." @@;;  
  
---Trish (Divaswwerule@aol.com)   
::gives a few dumfounded blinks and then her eyes narrow and turn black::  
I can't believe you Squall, you taped up of my most favorite people in the world and I won't stand for it.You ARE a big meanie! I still don't understand what Riona saw in you, Seifer is so much better looking and you are just well.....normal. Riona must of really have been desperate when she was looking for a rebound.  
Anywho I got questions!  
1)Squall do you know anything about Zell,Quistis,Seplhie or Seifer's real parents?  
Ok truth.....I wanna know everything you know about Seifer!!! Spit it out buddy! I have a chainsaw!!  
::starts up the chainsaw and laughs evily::  
Mwhahaha!! I know how to use it too.You better answer my question and Squall release Kaitou before I find you and saw off all of your hair then you will be bald!!  
Kaitou I'm doing my best to help you!!  
::waves goodbye to Kaitou::  
Yes Squall I am somewhat psycho but what are you going to do about it?!?!?  
::holds up the chainsaw and revs it up::  
You better meet my demands bud or it will get ugly.  
-----------  
  
Kaitou: "I'm one of your most favorite people in the world?? Cool!! thanks!!" ^^;;  
  
Squall: "I don't know anything about their parents..............*backs away* whoa, lady......a CHAINSAW? Tha't just...not...............right."  
  
Kaitou: "Hey Trish! My name's Kaitou/Sk8ter Gurl! I like being weird and petting monkeys. =^^= Monkeys.........."  
  
Squall: "...........................I swear, there is something WRONG with you."  
  
Kaitou: "MONKEYS!!!"  
  
---angel-wings13  
Selphie Almasy:Do you REALLY love that Little Miss Timber Freak? My WHOLE room is cover with pics of you!!!! I love you!  
  
Seifer Almasy:Ahem! WHAT ABOUT ME HUH? I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR NIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR! WHYDO YOU LIKE THAT PANSY ANYWAY? SELPHIE!!!!  
  
::Hits Seifer over the head with her nunchukcuas::  
  
Selphie: I just have a few more questions! Ok! If you were stranded on an island with Me, and some one said that he would KILL Rinoa and everyone else if you didn't have....sex with me and a radioactive pink flamingo,would you?  
  
Seifer:HAHAHAHA!!  
  
Selphie:How do you feel about Selphie in general? Would you ever kiss her?  
  
Seifer: As if!  
  
Selphie: Squall email me at: silvermoonangel@otakumail.com!!!! I LOVE YOU!  
---------------  
  
Squall: "..............Radioactive....flamingo."  
  
Kaitou: "........................................................................"  
  
Squall: "Uh--I'll.....get back to you..............on that." *backs away from flamingo*  
  
---Spork  
I'M BACK!!!!!!!! Hey Squall! Hey Kaitou! GO SQUALL GO SQUALL GO SQUALL!!! You are my favorite video game character of all time. I thought I like Zidane, but i was wrong. I played FF9 and then FF10 long before I played FF8. My brother tried to tell me the FF8 was a good game but did I listen to him no, of course not! But when my friend let me borrow it, boy did that change! Oh yeah on with my questions:  
#1: Is Irvine Gay? I think he is. I like to call him shotgun boy!  
#2: Is angelo a boy or a girl?  
#3: Can I have your necklace?  
#4: Your gunblade?  
#5: Do you like Yu-Gi-Oh?  
#6: If so who is your favorite character?  
Well that's it for me and I look forward to you answers. Oh yeah and by the way I am planning on stealing your gunblade while your away. So be aware, you have been warned. BYE!!!  
--------------------  
  
Squall: "Is Irvine gay? You're better off not know--trust me. -_- Angelo is a boy. No, you can not have my necklace. I like my necklace. It is a very nice necklace."  
  
Kaitou: "And I scare YOU, Squall?"  
  
Squall: "Anyway--no, you can't have my gunblade either. Yu-Gi-Oh? It's........very..............weird. I like Yugi best for now........I think. You can't steal my gunblade!! I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "................"  
  
---zulu  
Hi again!!!! Squall, you are so mean, picking a defensless girl...SHE'S DUCK TAPED TO A CHAIR FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!! Anyway...you asked why I voted for her...it's simple. Like Kaitou said, theives gotta stick together(hey Squall...notice something missing???*grins evilly*) Amy way...Kaitou, who do YOU like better the Hives or the Vines the bet is tied now and I need one more vote. Mean Squall, boxers, briefs, or commando??? And, just out of curiosity, which does Seifer like better, The Hives or The Vines?*giggles* And, I'm voting for Kaitou again, if I can do that(Squall, you are MEAN!!!!!!)  
----------  
  
(Kaitou spits at Squall.)  
  
Squall: "..........Defensless, huh? That's funny."  
  
Kaitou: "Squall, have you noticed how nobody came to SAVE you or LOOK for you all these weeks?"  
  
Squall: "................................................Of course not. I was too busy looking at you make a fool of yourself in front of various people."  
  
Kaitou: "So what if I like petting monkeys? At least I don't let them french me like SOMEBODY."  
  
Squall: "I WAS NOT FRENCHING WITH THE MONKEY!!! It's called making-out, Kaitou--get a boyfriend."  
  
Kaitou: "GASP!! THE B-WORD!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE HORRORS!!! I like vines cuz......monkeys swing on them!! Heheheee."  
  
Squall: ".....................................................I need to get out of this place. I wear BOXERS for the LAST TIME!! DO YOU WANNA SEE OR WHAT?!?!?!"  
  
(Squalls pulls down his pants.)  
  
Kaitou: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!! THEY BUUUUUURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
---Keeshe Kal'daka  
-Begins arguing with a man named Dragen, who is super handsome, super bad, and is the man who she is setting up with Squall in her fic... Once she starts it! Thats what she and Dragen are arguing about. She pauses, seeing how she was in this room now and Squall wasn't tied up but Kaitou was instead! One would think Squall was safer in that chair now that she has Dragen with her. The man was now glaring at Squall...don't ask why. Keeshe gets bouncy still-  
  
"KAITOU! o.o..... What happened?" Pointing to the her in the tied up chair. Looks back to Squall since he is the one incharge. Then smirks. "Does this mean ya like bondage?" There came some snickering from Dragen... Squall better be careful of Dragen may take up on it. "Anyway! I have another question!" She bounces again. She's hyper from soda.  
  
"Squall, would you think it odd if ya had a secret admirer? That the others found out and told you, then you will have to face that person since he--" Gets a jab in her side from Dragen. Oops. "I mean.. who ever that is, comes to make alot of trouble in Balamb. What would you do!??!?!! I really want to know!"   
  
o_o She looks back to Kaitou. "^_^;; I am so sorry but I have to vote for Squall. Yeah I'm late but.. @_@ He's drool worthy still!!!!"  
  
-Keeshe  
  
YES I HAVE QUESTIONS IN HERE!!! o.o....  
----------------------  
  
Kaitou: "Super................bad?" *backs away a little*   
  
Squall: "I have many admirers......................."  
  
Kaitou: "Uh, yeah, sure, Squall. Keep telling that to yourself."  
  
---The Big Crazy Insano  
hehe, this is great. ok squall, what was it like out in space? Was it cool floating around up there or were you too like single minded on Rinoa to relly think about it? I think it would be fun.  
--------------  
  
Squall: "Space WAS fun--but they didn't let me float around!!! It's not fair!! How come Laguna got to?!"  
  
---Arathorn...  
OK sk8ter u cant stop this... if they ban this fic I will just protest! :P This is luvly... absolutely... U gotta do more than just 1 after this... God this is talent! And I want to ask something from Squall : Do u like teletubbies and are u maybe sexually attracted to Dipsy? The one with the big dick on his head....  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: "Don't worry! THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL!! But it won't REALLY be related to Ask Squall......it'll only REFER to it. ^^;; Heh heh. I'll release more info on my UJournal thing. I'm so flattered!! ^^;; Thanks for reading my story!! Thanks to all of you!!!"  
  
Squall: "I don't even know what the teletubies are, and no, I'm not attracted to Dipsy. That's just plain wrong."  
  
---Rinoa Heartily  
*Stares around a large black viod*   
Rinoa:Errmmm... right. I vote for Squall.   
  
1. Did you die at the end of the game?  
2. Why'd Laguna abandon you when you were little?  
3. heh heh... this is kindda hard for me to say but... HAS ANY ONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT IN THE CINNAMA'S YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR ABOUT TWELVE?!  
  
Well that's all for now. Chach ya on the flip side!  
  
Rinoa  
----------  
  
Squall: "Rinoa, if I died at the end, I wouldn't BE here right now. Didn't you watch credits?? You should've!! Laguna did not abandon me, he didn't even know I was alive. Wait, that makes me feel better. I look like I'm TWELVE?!?!"  
  
Kaitou: "Whoa.....now that you mention it.................."  
  
Squall: "I DO NOT!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Of course you don't Squall."  
  
---Enchantress Tsurai  
Hello again! :::waves at Kaitou and Squall::: I'm baaaaaaaack, AND I'm 100% behind you Kaitou! After all if it weren't for you, Squall would never been here...uh there, and we wouldn't be getting to ask him questions...MUAHAHAHAHAHA *coughs* uh, okie I have a question for Kaitou cuz I am curious ^^'  
1). Kaitou did you ever had a...uh, dream with squall in it? if you had, what was your best one? and describe it so squall can hear...! MAUAHAHA!!!  
2). Squall, I never understood why you changed your name to Leon in Kingdom hearts, you didn't like your real name? or is it that something happend in those 8 years...?  
3). Kaitou would you give Squally poo a kiss for me since I ain't there to do it myself? (  
---------------  
  
Kaitou: "Thanks for supporting me!! ^^ Questions for ME? I HAVE TO DESCRIBE A DREAM WITH SQUALL IN IT? Uhhh..........never had one about him. It wasn't a dream anyway--it was a nightmare."  
  
Squall: "Ahaha. Very funny."  
  
Kaitou: "I know, I'm so great, aren't I?"  
  
Squall: "And you ask yourself why you don't have a boyfriend."  
  
Kaitou: "Oh yeah, huh........"  
  
Squall: "Maybe it's cuz you scare all the guys away. Heh, that would explain A LOT."  
  
Kaitou: "So what if I DO beat them up? Are you insulting the way I look?!"  
  
Squall: "It took you that long to realize? You might actually attract men if you looked more like a GIRL."  
  
Kaitou: "You mean wear a...........DRESS/SKIRT? And.............MAKEUP? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh...........anyway......... "  
  
Squall: "Leon. That's the beginning of my last name. Interesting. Love my locks though. Heh."  
  
Kaitou: "The day I give Squall a kiss will be the day I wear high heals."  
  
Squall: "Hahahaa."  
  
Kaitou: "What's so funny?"  
  
Squall: "The thought of you looking like a woman."  
  
Kaitou: "WHY YOU FREAKIN--"  
  
---Enchantress Tsurai (again)  
AAAHHH!!! My other half of OTHER review I put didn't go through!!! Dammit! grr... uh yeah anyways, Squall if what is your favorite anime? what is your favorite game (other than the final fantasy series)? and um, damn I forgot what else I put in the other review :::shrugs::: Oh well... oh and Kaitou I know You're gonna find another way to get Squall back ^_^, revenge can be sweet, but I still love you Squall ^^' !!!  
  
Ja ne~  
~~~ Enchantress Tsurai  
------------------  
  
Squall: "I like Kenshin.......lotsa blood.........heh heh. My favorite game...Star Ocean. Can't wait for the third one to come out."  
  
Kaitou: "Revenge. I like that word."  
  
---shirtless  
Personally , I think ropes are a better choice then duct tape. Also, if the fate of the world depends on whether or not you'll have sex with seifer. would you?  
---------------  
  
Squall: "Sex.......with Seifer...............I'll....................................get back to you...........on.......................that."  
  
Kaitou: "That would be a 'yes'."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
---Rugal   
Simply asking if you want me to blow GARDEN up for ya Kaitou.  
  
Oh and I vote for the thief ninja girl simply because They make the best fighting game characters.  
--------------  
  
Kaitou: "Oh no, it's ok. I can blow it up by myself. *shows everyone her stash of explosives* See? I've been saving up."  
  
Squall: "Thief ninja girl. Heh. That's funny."  
  
Kaitou: "Well, I guess I'm not exactly a ninja cuz I just started training!"  
  
---KinneasGal  
Yo Squall! Wassap! I have a VERY big question to ask you. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO FRIGGING BORING?!  
-----------  
  
Squall: "Why? Cuz I'm totally expression-less. Or was that emotion-less?"  
  
---Arathorn  
Hey Kaitou, that was a good chapter. Nice going Squall ;)Now I have a question to you...  
Who of the guys in FF8 do u think is the coolest(leave yourself out ehem...) and who of the girls?  
-----------  
  
Squall: "Cid is the coolest. I mean, he found SeeD and everything. Rinoa is my girlfriend so go figure."  
  
Kaitou: "Uhm, I think Arathorn was talking about Zell and Irvine or Seifer....."  
  
Squall: "Oh."  
  
---LunarCry (dreamerdragoon@hotmail.com)   
Mwuaaahahaha this is priceless!!! The tables have turned, all right! *winks at Squall in a suggestive manner* Yeah, this fic rocks ^^ Just to get this off my chest:  
SQQQQUUUUAAAAALLLLLLL I LOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!  
*ahem*  
Okay, questions ^___^:  
1.Squall, HOW, OH HOW did you manage to stay DATELESS for SEVENTEEN YEARS?!?! It's like God finally understands the needs of women and sent you to us :D  
2.Did you pose for the action figures?  
3.Did it hurt when Seifer hit you with his gunblade? Cuz it sure looked like it did!  
4.Um . . . can I have your autograph?  
5.Who is your favourite Final Fantasy bad guy?  
That's it! *blows Squall a kiss and throws her bra at him* Luv ya!!! And, if ya couldn't tell, my votes for Squally-poo ^^ Sorry Kaitou, but I luv u too for strapping my man to a chair with duct tape :D  
-------------  
  
Squall: "Uhm. Ok. Thanks for loving me, I guess. Dateless? It's very easy. Just keep staying away from all the girls. Unlike Kaitou, who scares off guys naturally, I do it on purpose."  
  
Kaitou: "It's a gift."  
  
Squall: "Uhm, yeah. Sure. Yes, I do pose for the action figures. Heh. It was fun. If it didn't hurt, maybe I wouldn't of been bleeding then, now would I? Autograpgh.....? Uh, sure. I like Seymour. He's a cool guy; he's not evil in real life. We call him Pokey Headed Guy #2."  
  
Kaitou: "Uh, sure."  
  
Squall: *catches bra* "...........................Uhm...................................thanks............................I think."  
  
Kaitou: "............."  
  
Squall: "..................You don't.............intend me to use it though.....................right?"  
  
---Punk Baby   
Hiya people!I am here to torment you people with questions about Squall a.k.a. LEON in Kingdom Hearts as a result of playing the game for 15 hours straight...*twitch*um...ok  
1.)Why did you changed your name just because you couldnt stop the heartless in your 'world'?  
2.)Me and my cousin think you have a sexy voice in the game, did you always have that sexy,sexy voice?  
3.)How come when you gave Sora that stone in the underground cavern you stopped talking to him when he asked how does it work?  
4.)um...Did you cheat on my cousin?  
5.)Have you ever gone out with my cousin?  
6.)She says you did  
7.)...then you cheated on her  
8.)...you bastard (j/k)  
9.)Is Yuffie another crazed fan girl that stalks you in the game?  
10.)Are you attracted to Aerith in the game?  
11.)...or is she another crazed,rabid fan girl?  
I cant think of anymore!I'm gonna leave now!I gotta go catch up to Riku in that big ol' whale, MONSTRO...um...yea...bai bai!  
-----------  
  
Squall: "Leon is a good name. What's wrong with Leon? sexy voice? Uh, yeah, ok. I don't remember much about Sora. @@;; It's been a long time since I've been kidnapped. I did not cheat on your cousin! Yuffie IS a thief who actually looks like a girl, so no, she is only a friend. Areith (Aeris)? Isn't Cloud looking for her?"  
  
---Angelwhispher  
Hiya, Kaitou and Squall!!   
This fic is the best!!  
  
Q)Squall, I think it is so cute that you have become more open since Rinny came into your life! What do you think you would be doing now if she hadn't?   
  
And also, how do you feel about Ultimecia is Rinoa and Griver is Squall theories?  
  
Squall, I totally love ya, but I vote for Kaitou!! Squall, you need to admit you have feelings for Kaitou! We thieves gotta stick together! Please stay in the fic(we love your ramblings!!) and Squall please free her! I'll vote for ya next time Squall if ya do, and well if you don't free her, well I liked Tidus better anyway!!!(just kidding!). Bye Bye!!!  
-----  
  
Squall: "If Rinoa never entered my life, there wouldn't be a FFVIII game. Well, I think I wouldn't of cared if anybody was in trouble or anything is she wasn't here."  
  
Kaitou: "Whoa. I never heard of those theories." @@;;  
  
Squall: "You've never heard of much, anyway, Kaitou. AND I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR KAITOU!! THAT'S JUST WRONG!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Ewwwwww. Besides, Squall's already taken and I have David (from All-American Girl by Meg Cabot) here with me anyways." =^^=  
  
---Gryffindorgal  
mwahaha! hey kaitou! nice work capturing squall! *claps* too bad your now his hostage! =[ go master theif, go!!! =D  
Squall-  
1-if you had a certain gryffindor girl to 'hold' at night (ehehe =D) would you take her?  
2- umm do you have a secret crush on Kaitou? =P  
---------------------  
  
Squall: "Yes I would. Heh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?? I DO NOT HAVE A SECRET CRUSH ON KAITOU!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Stop screaming like that, Squall! You're scaring the ice cream man away and i want ice cream!!"  
  
Squall: "Oh. Oops." *Kaitou starts to chase after the truck*  
  
---Yuna   
Hey Squallyboy! Why don't you go home anyways? i mean you're free right?? and i vote 4 u Squallyboy why because i like ya alot uhmz my english is not that verry good right? that's becuase i'm dutch so Much love and GO HOME!  
----------------  
  
Squall: "Go...............home. I miss home........."  
  
Kaitou: "Yes, go. GO. We're near there anyway."  
  
Squall: "Wait, you mean......."  
  
Kaitou: "Yes. We are prescisely about one mile from the Garden. I was thinking of releasing you back into the wild a couple of days ago until you tied me up."  
  
Squall: "You make me sound like an animal....................."  
  
Kaitou: "You're a lion--cope with it."  
  
Squall: "Well, every lion has it's den and I reallt miss mine. I wanna go back! Now!"  
  
Kaitou: "Yay! does that mean you'll let me go?!"  
  
Squall: "No. You're coming with me so I can have evidence that I was actually kidnapped."  
  
Kaitou: "But I can't! I don't have an ID!"  
  
Squall: "You're a thief. You can handle everything."  
  
Kaitou: "You're right. *pause*Damn you."  
  
Squall: "Thanks."  
  
~ * ~  
  
Minutes later, I, Kaitou, was freed. We both went to a local hotel and changed there. I, into my SeeD uniform and Squall into his. Together, we passed by many other people who made unsavory remarks about us.  
  
Kaitou: "I swear, if I hear anybody else say that we're a cute couple again, I'm going to have to break somebody's legs." I looked at Squall accusingly and he stepped back cautiously.   
  
Squall: "Come on, we're almost there." We were. I could see the Garden. It was a bit chilly and I shivered. Danm dress. Good thing I wear combat boots or else my feet would've frozen, too.  
  
* ~ *  
  
Zell: "SQUALL!?!?" We were inside of the Garden.   
  
Squall: "Hey."  
  
Zell: "Yo, man! Where've ya been?!" I stepped into the picture.  
  
Kaitou: "From hell and back. Thanks to me, of course."  
  
Zell: "WHOA! Squall--who's the girl?"  
  
Kaitou: "What, don't I look just a LITTLE familiar to you?" Zell thought for a while, until he exploded.  
  
Zell: "YOU!!! YOU STOLE ONE OF MY HOTDOGS!!! IT'S YOU!!!"  
  
Kaitou: "Well, it's nice to see you, too." Squall nervously laughed a little and then he quickly ushered me far, far away from Zell.  
  
Squall: "You really don't want to make Zell mad."  
  
Kaitou: "What did I do?! I just stole ONE freakin hotdog! I'll get him another one, geez!!"  
  
Squall: "It's not that......well, this is the Garden. I don't want ANYONE to know about......you."  
  
Kaitou: "Uh."  
  
Squall: "Look, here's the plan: we go straight to Cid, you'll explain, you get out, and we never see each other again. Ever. Ok? I think that's simple enough for you to understand."  
  
Kaitou: "Hey!!"  
  
Squall: "Now, onto Cid."  
  
Kaitou: "Whoopdidoo."  
  
* ~ * 1 hour later * ~ *  
  
Kaitou: "....So, you see, Cid......"  
  
Cid: "Ah, I see. Thank you for explaining to me......uhh...."  
  
Kaitou: "Kaitou."  
  
Cid: "Kaitou....? I've never heard of you." Squall nervously chuckled again.  
  
Squall: "Eh heh....heh. Anyway, Cid, I'd apreciate it if you would ask Quistis and Sephie escort Kaitou out of the Garden."  
  
* ~ * Another Hour Gone * ~ *  
  
Kaitou: "Aww, thanks guys. I'll really miss you all."  
  
Selphie: "Waah!! Noo! You have to come back and visit!"  
  
Quistis: "You've got to. It's just too boring around here."  
  
Kaitou: "Well...I'm not sure if I'll ever come back....maybe......." Suddenly, Rinoa came running down the hallways, waving envelopes and various letters in the air.   
  
Quistis: "What's wrong? What's up with the letters?"  
  
Rinoa: "Selphie!! Quistis!! YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS BUT--"   
  
Selphie: "Huh? What happened, Rinoa?" Rinoa handed out the letters to everybody, except for Squall.  
  
Rinoa: "Read them." I read my letter. It was addressed to Rinoa. I threw the letter onto the ground in shock when I came across the word 'love'.  
  
Kaitou: "EW!!! WAIT--ARE THESE LOVE LETTERS!?!?!!?"  
  
Rinoa: "Yes. i found them in all of our lockers. What do we do?!? Who are these people?!?"  
  
Selphie: "Ewewewew!!!" Selphie started to jump up and down in disgust, while Quistis finished her letter.  
  
Quistis: "Hey, I do NOT use my whip for OTHER purposes."   
  
Kaitou: "Wow, how many do you HAVE Rinoa?!?!"  
  
Rinoa: "More than I want to know. What are we going to do?!"  
  
Kaitou: "Well, the people who wrote these must really know you. I mean, they're practically OBSERVING you."  
  
Selphie: "You mean--LIKE STALKERS?!!?"  
  
Quistis: "God. Just when I finally got rid of 10 stalkers, I get 50 more."  
  
Rinoa: "Then.......we only have one choice; we must find someone who can hide in the shadows......someone who's experienced in the art of........of..........." Everyone stared at me. I backed away.  
  
Kaitou: "Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Hold up, you're looking at the WRONg person. Sure I can sneak in and stuff, but how will that help?!?! I'm not a detective!!"  
  
Rinoa: "You are now."  
  
Kaitou: "But......what do I do when I find them?!?!"  
  
Rinoa: "We'll all kick their butts. Duh."  
  
Kaitou: "But............."  
  
Selphie: "PLEASE!! Kaitou--if we have stalkers, they only stalk US. They won't suspect and look around for YOU!!"  
  
Quistis: "Right."  
  
Kaitou: "But....what do I DO?!" Rinoa handed me everone's letters.  
  
Rinoa: "I've got an idea. Ok girls, here's the plan; we'll all answer these letters for now. If they keep writing to us, we'll figure out who they are eventually."  
  
Selphie: "Yeah!"  
  
Kaitou: "But.......I'm not really a SeeD...."  
  
Selphie: "You're in disguise, Kaitou! you've got an authentic uniform! you look great, too."  
  
Kaitou: "Heh, well, thanks....but....."  
  
Rinoa: "Kaitou, here. This is the key to Squall's dorm room. He's probably in there now. I think you should tell him that you're going to be staying for a while...."   
  
* ~ *  
  
Squall: "KAITOU?! What're you doing here? How'd you get into my room?!" I grinned.  
  
Kaitou: "Squall. I came here to inform you that I won't be leaving so soon. I've just been assigned a mission."  
  
Squall: "WHAT? From who?!"  
  
Kaitou: "But you don't need to worry, I probably won't be able to see you everyday anymore cuz I'm working with the girls. So don't worry about being kidnapped again."  
  
Squall: "What.........?"  
  
Kaitou: "I'll see you, but you won't see me. I'm hoping that you won't tell anyone that I'm here."  
  
Squall: "Sure. Whatever." I grinned and pulled out some rope and duct tape.  
  
Kaitou: "But just to make sure.........."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
Crappy ending AND chapter, I know. But there will be a semi-sequel, so read that. It's called "Ask Them Why I Had To Beat You Up". I dunno when it'll be out. But don't worry, I'll be back. Yes, I AM Kaitou, so hi!!! =^^= Anyway, I you might not see the sequel soon cuz I got lots of HW..........damn. 


End file.
